RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   Suicidal Dive (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=104301)

Echo 01-05-04 09:47 PM

Suicidal Dive
 
replied to

Bigg E Z
Gangsta One
rule


I like to sit in my own silence and think sometimes
and it takes all night to come up with a fuckn' idea
So I reflect on my life and my joys and my cries
I regret my suicidal dive
and I pray that God forgives me tonight
I didn't mean to try to take my own life
What's a few slits on the wrists in my bullies eyes?


p.s. don't just tell me i need help. i already know that. hehe

ILLunatic 01-06-04 12:03 AM

This really isn't a real drop
Its to short...
Need to make it longer
UP the wordplay
And try to make us
Imagine what your sayin

!ll~L!teRatE 01-06-04 12:03 AM

lol lok... i like the feeling thats always nice, but first off its kinda short... id try to go at least 10 lines. However i cant realy see much of a rhyming scheme goin on here... i think you should work on that a bit... my 2 cents...

Menik 01-06-04 02:36 AM

Yeah this was ok....but you should make your Drops longer than that so we can give you better feedback, like literate said atleast 10 most likely....you should try to use some multies though...but keep at it.

Penskills 01-06-04 09:06 AM

..????...What was the point of this...LOL!!!...

Echo 01-06-04 10:58 AM

More feedback please. Leave a link or the name of your shit and I will give you feedback.

Dev 01-06-04 12:21 PM

what ya want more feed for...its all been said...lol...but no .. what was there seemed ok, but ya cant really judge when its so short...lengthen them...pZ

Rural Thug 01-07-04 08:37 AM

too short again man, needs to become more complex and longer to show your true meaning through this drop

Echo 01-07-04 01:16 PM

uppin for feedback------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:39 PM.