Time for a Change
 

magnet - skiddz (average, but readable)
lose change - bruklor(nice read, heartwarming)
Rising Star - Feeble Minded ( hot drop )


Im losing my grasp on reality
Feeling engulfed by the growing abyss
Im losing my sanity, but will it even be missed
some say ignorance is bliss, as i reminesce
i certainly come closer to this, conclusion
this world is only an allusion, phony people, and artificial resolutions
my umbilical cord to this hord is ecluding, signs alluding
to higher levels of being, parousing
lifestyles, searchin for one path to elevation
finding nothing but falsities, hatred, and shallow approbation; Evanescent satiating gratification, while i crave suffrage of transcendent reformation
My fervent urge exponentially increases beyond words
It'll be either the death or success of me, whichever comes first

Re: Time for a Change
 

sorry about the double post acidently clicked quote instead of edit..had to change a typo



second edit..jus read that new or should i say old open mic rule that has been reinstated...didn't need to leave the three replies on top...o well

It was ok..
Some played concepts
But overall it was ok..
Keep it up...
Read others...
It will help you elevate

Yeah this was alright here....your structure was ok, it could be better though, just watch your line length on some of your lines.....you had some good vocab though i thought....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

..decent drop..I enjoyed this piece..a little different from the most...good concept...good vocab..flow was alright..overall..a nice drop...

not bad...the flow could be improved... work on the syllables ya using.... but expansive use of vocab, i like that...... the concept didnt really hit.. but overall not bad...pZ

up

I thought this was a decent peice, not great, but it was a good read.

Your stucture could use some work, line length and basic stuff.

Vocab was on, multi's were there,

An alright concept, didn't like it too much, though I never really like n e body's.

over all this prob a 6/10

Stay up.......and hit my peaice Writers Block

was okay...5/10...need work...no flow..structure needs help..vocab was okay...elevate.

appreiciate the constructive criticism...i understand this piece is average at best...i haven't dropped in a lil while..ok a long while...lil rusty