Flip It.... Coffee
 

The Noise, Penetrated My Sensitive Ears..
Bringing Forth Pain Like Childhood Fears..
The Surface Cracked Open, Chillingly Hot..
And Brought Back The Hurt That I Had Forgot..
As Dust Flew Into My Eyes, It Brought Tears..
A Discomfort That Lasted, A Million Years..

The Bubbles ,They Almost Seemed To Wave..
The Filter Just Sat Their, Small And Brave..
The Plight Aroma, Like The Smell Of Death..
Filled The Air, As I Gasped For A Breath..
The Sound Worsened, As The Pot Screamed..
I Hoped, This Was A Nightmare Been Dreamed..

Suddenly And Stark, Sound Had Been Stopped..
Wait!.As I Recall, The Last Drop Had Dropped..
Flowing Like A River, The Drops Resurfaced..
Sweat Began To Drip, Oh My, I Got Nervous..
Everything Became Somber, And All Was Bare..
In Happiness I Shed, The Worlds Largest Tear..

Dumped It All Over, She Walked In And Caught Me..
All Over The Floor, Was The Treacherous Coffee..

Well this reminds me of a commercial i saw...the guy had coffe fall on his back. But anyways

Your lines are getting longer, but lacking the old multies...was this a quick key?

It was good in the flow, not your usual, but this was still good
Descriptions of coffee were alot more in depth than i could think of, good job there

Goodjob sir eel

^^good reply although telling him to go back to his old thing isnt so good, because every good rapper/MC can switch his style and get the same effect...which i think is good to see sureal doing this and proving that he can still drop a good OM

this story was good, the flow was still good even though they were a bit longer ( not much diference), keep up the good work, ull only get better...you have alot of writing talent

Hey good job sureal!

Like the flow


Also have you tried the new maxwell house coffee crystals? They can be brewed with cold water so you don't get burned. Also theres no dust that'll get in your eyes when you open the can...


Just a thought.

Seemed a bit rushed tho, simplistic rhyme scheme, vocab & flow were good , ..short well telled story = )

Hmmm...I liked it.....But im not so keen on small lines...Its good tho....

U had an interesting topic....The way u used was allso a show of how good u are...... TR said that u lacked some things...But i dont see that u did...But then again i aint really peeped ur P.O's b4....

This was a good read, i like it...

Could u peep mine if u would be so kind...?

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=103726

This was a nice piece Sir ... Different concept ... Mad different ... I wouldn't of thought of nuthin' like that and that's dope man ... The flow of this was consistent thru-out ... It did lack in multi's but that didn't really affect the piece cuz it wasn't that long so U didn't need them to draw in attention so to say ...

The Plight Aroma, Like The Smell Of Death..
Filled The Air, As I Gasped For A Breath..

I liked those lines along with the first stanza the best outta this piece ... Nice job ... Keep writin' man ... Peace

Lol @ The Dope Response To My Joke Verse!

Ehh ... The first stanza was nice either way ... Get on AIM ... peace

interesting......... you told a neat story and everything was great....... work on making the lyrics more complex though....... try some more multies too.......... pz

..Very nice..