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Lesser Ends
Lesser was a kid in the tough years of his life behind tough fears, he stuffed cheers in his pipe hadn't kissed enough rears to get where he was at he dwelled in his own realm on the ground where he sat get around, where it's at; the meaning of existence? seeming in resistence he stood up with insistence against the ones who showed love without condition but it was his mission to stand above the rendition no submission, because it got lost in translation hard to be pencil sketched; the world is claymation Lesser never thought for a second of bad habit never being drab it would much prefer to stab it in the heart of the scab it would speak truth as the pain he was causing was a symptom of youth thinking of couth, remaining completely untouched discretly he rushed, wanting to beat me in trust deceiving the lust into believing it was a must no one saw through; the smoke covered the crust so who sends a reality that is only pretend? and what will happen to us all when Lesser Ends? Lesser held a small place in every person's heart even as a disgrace, he faced that it was a start cause no one could deny the simple charm of the kid making girls cry with the pimpled harm that he did in leaps and bounds, speak profound with new ideas and drown in heaps of crowns, questioning what he is what right did he possess to confess his love for it? to push and shove for it? He'd be with you in a bit Because his reality lay in the ability to take a hit His morality died; Lessers at the End of his wits |
Good shit Maven...
I've always liked your storytelling and imagery... ...this didnt dissappoint As I said... nice imagery... usage of words.... etc. I'd get tchnical but I cant = ) Nice piece |
This was a nice piece Mave ... Dope story tellin' ... Dope imagery ... Nice concept ... Thinkable ... Rhyme scheme was interestin' ... Some dope multi's ... I thought the first stanza was my favorite outta this piece for sum reason ... Liked the detail put into it ... But as a whole this was a dope piece also ... Keep writin'
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thanks you guys
up |
good topic, strong vocab, many multis, although they sometimes obscured the meaning you were trying to convey. it was still definately worth the read. i like the repition at the beginning of each verse and the name of the charecter in it.
good stuff, keep posting. |
shit i dont know what i can say to give a better reply than what u gave me....
Awsome flow-The whole thiing flowed immacuartly-I havent seen one of your peices for a long time and this was very good. The first two lines were mad. All of them were mad. as the pain he was causing was a symptom of youth ^^I loved that line. Lesser held a small place in every person's heart even as a disgrace, he faced that it was a start ^^loved those as well INfact i loved every line in the peice. Cant wait to see another peice from you on here. Thanks for giving me such in depth reply. |
yea maven this was nice ma....ya flow was nice and Stayed on Topic Through the Hole thing and ya structure was good to It was The same lengths and was consistant.....Havent read any of ya piece but ya wordplay wan Vocab is good for the Imagery..this was a good decent piece and ya topic was Good one all and all Good Drop Man...PeacE...
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Quote:
best line of the peice^^ Also, i think the name you picked for the person in the peice was great, Lesser, how perfect for a kid depressed? i loved that, good shit the flow, rhyme scheme and all the lyricism was top notch too man, this was a real good story, lotta emotion return the favor |
Nice drop Maven. .
. . I see why you chose this as a topic you handled it greatly . . Quote:
^ my fav' part. . reminds me of Aesop/no regrets type piece. . but still holds great originality. . Keep it up dude. |
good piece
but i dunno...seemed a bit lacking some how the first verse outshone the others i think although some of the second was well written imagery seemed to suffer in part due to the multies...which seemed a little forced maybe it was just me 'no submission, because it got lost in translation hard to be pencil sketched; the world is claymation ^probly my favorite line out of the whole thing from the past pieces i've read this just seemd a bit lacklustre a good read none the less.. check mne if possible.. #(it'll be on the second page by now :( ) |
I gave him the topic and you didnt dissapoint. = )
Read most this over aim yesterday. Nice piece. |
word to your motherboard....up!
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respond to mine .. the epic!
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