LOOSEN UP (A more positive side to rap)
 

Loosen up

Yo loosen up what up wit you rappers on the mic/
All serious and shit when you spit up on the mic/

Cmon Loosen up

Smile sometimes don’t be loking all mean and rough/
And no rap is not all about sounding like your tough/

Cmon loosen up

But ya gat down dawg aint nobody beefin/
Hip-hop don’t have to leave somebody leakin/

Cmon loosen up

Cmon breath and stop/
Get in da booth and show me really what what you got/

Cmon loosen up

You think rap is about shitin on hoes/
And invest man do something with your doe/

Cmon loosen up

Stop buying 1500 Bentleys and Mercedes/
And be a man and take care of your thirteen babies/

Cmon loosen up

Pass da dutchie on one hand side put it out/
Get loose cus we about to while out/

Cmon loosen up

Make your C.H.O.I.C.E/
You’ll live to change tomorrow so forget the drug robbery/

Cmon loosen up
If you aint get ya grades up on your report card/
You better make a change or life will get hard/

Cmon loosen up
Don’t fight wit ya fam or ya gurl/
Cus you know they mean a lot to you they’re all your world/

Cmon loosen up
Forget about your pain and strife/
Its time to get loose and enjoy life/

You're rhyme scheme is far too simple....

card/hard?
rough/tough?

Thats just lazy

^^^^
true but... u also made a good point about this rap shit
we do gotta lossin up but just work and elavate... i know
i need to elavate in the battles :banghead: yeah i dissed myself

i agree you took a very simple approach... but got away with it i think... the message behind it was decent.... but thought it could be executed better with a bit more complexity and thought.... to captivate the reader... but, i thought it was ok.... pZ...