take a look(freestyle)
 

avenge
fomula mc
LM



I spit ''ILL'' spread ''disease'' like a pigeon
My shit got more influence than religion
I ''paint pictures'' witt my rhymes,so u see it like a ''vision''
15, got the game on ''lock'' like a ''prison''
I got skillz, dont need to get shot for a living
But i shoot for a living,have you living in fear
cause i got a crew of niggaz,crazy women in here
all prepared, to rip u to shreds like grizzly bears
Im the grimy,type of rapper
write about ya girl, how ima kidnapp her
Katz ''rude'' like a kid with no ''manners''
katz crude wen cum thru wit two hammers
I aint talking tools, you gettin ''peeled'' like bannanas
Im in a blood hood, wearing a blue bandana
I aint hannible, Im the red dragon
The big bang like heat clapping
so far ive stayed street never get deep rapping
Fuck the ''pigs'' i only speak street ''latin''
so fuck u if u don like wot i spit
i dont give a fuck cause your wife on my dick
im like laxative the way i run ya shit
Run you over and run a train on ya bitch

feedback plz

You definatly had some good ideas for this one, I liked your flow and structure, some parts I couldn't really follow, one thing I don't like tho...

15, got the game on ''lock'' like a ''prison''
I got skillz, dont need to get shot for a living
But i shoot for a living,have you living in fear

the first line was hot but it fell off...

keep writtin'

I spit ''ILL'' spread ''disease'' like a pigeon
My shit got more influence than religion
-prolly dont realise...1st line played out...2nd was actually decent...would be better in a topical drop-

I ''paint pictures'' witt my rhymes,so u see it like a ''vision''
15, got the game on ''lock'' like a ''prison''
-again both of these are played...but in development you must learn what is played an what aint...these are basic similes-

I got skillz, dont need to get shot for a living
But i shoot for a living,have you living in fear
-the contrasting.."but shoot for a living have you living in fear" was nice....but the "get shot for a living"?..who does?-

cause i got a crew of niggaz,crazy women in here
all prepared, to rip u to shreds like grizzly bears
-hahahahah...prepared to rip you to shreads like grizzly bears...some one from Roll Deep said something similar ages ago lol...funny tho-

Im the grimy,type of rapper
write about ya girl, how ima kidnapp her
Katz ''rude'' like a kid with no ''manners''
-hmm...this is basik an even the similes was weak-

katz crude wen cum thru wit two hammers
I aint talking tools, you gettin ''peeled'' like bannanas
Im in a blood hood, wearing a blue bandana
-again these are played....-

I aint hannible, Im the red dragon
The big bang like heat clapping
so far ive stayed street never get deep rapping
Fuck the ''pigs'' i only speak street ''latin''
-that last line had some decent wordplay..nice-

so fuck u if u don like wot i spit
i dont give a fuck cause your wife on my dick
im like laxative the way i run ya shit
Run you over and run a train on ya bitch

ok ended real weak...

you show signs of potential but far from ill at the moment...

drop me feedback at...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...545#post1072545


..oNe..

Shut the fuck up
Red dragon mean you homo mother fucker
fuckin homo thug ass nigga

I actually wasnt feeling this too much, a lot of the wordplay and punshes were pretty basic .. nothing really that decent .. a lot of played bullshit in this .. flow was off .. multi's and internals lacked .. plus it was a bragging rights type open mic which i hate anyway ..

sorry bro.

when i said ''get shot for a living'' i ment rappers getting shot and then getting deals. and g shyne u just a bitch stay off my shit for u get smoked nigga

^
^

I undastand that..but they dont exactly get shot for a living...it aint exactly planned like that..

u kina gay at rapping man

uppin for more feedback