State of Destitution
 

With Each generation, inflation hits this nation more
A Combination of tax, propaganda, disaster and war
The economy weakens, forecasting, seeing rain thru the door
The future bleak’nd, contrasting nowadays to years before
With dated laws and manifesto’s, protocols and agreements
Full of flaws costing millions along with many bereavements
Innocent victims unneeded, sacrificed to show that there evil
Militant murderers exceeded with money taxed from the people
Its feeble, a steeple towering, like rising high above the clouds
In days gone by, it would be allowed like a war vet aint proud
It shrouds the west, drawing money by the billions
Treat as Minions, the contingents sitting high living steady
The Working class forking cash, like we’re worth 10 a penny
Plenty to go round, getting clowned by the Toff’s and the gentry
With empty ‘festo’s running full until the office’s sets ‘root’
‘Shoot’s’ appear unseen jus ‘germinating’ in wait to contribute
The taxes go up, but wages down unless you sit in a suit
They’d dispute the facts swing em round, probably end up winning
Try’na make a living in a fucked up world, but seem to keep giving
I aint unwilling, jus think its fucked how its run…
Its not all bad but compared to the shit… its like 10% fun!

quit with the sleeping......lol....

wtf..........

Nice, good immagery here m8 ..some good vocab usage , .. & a nice concept... flowed solidly, .. yea this was a ncie read keep it up man ..

thnx man..... whats with the sleeping... fuck, man.....

good read here,flowed well,good use of multies,nice imagery,stayed on topic,good vocab,in all in a very interestin peice,worth a read.

Peace

DAMNIT *adds name to "do not suck" list* dope shit, way to use your IQ duke. go peep the callab One soul Penskills and me

thnx for the feedback... appreciated....

more feedback......thnx... those that bother

co'mon..... ive posted in the thread more than the replies......

Ok dev, heres my feedback:

It was a good piece. I was feeling it a lot, but than again topics like this get to me. You used good vocab and your flow was oright. It was easy to go along with this piece and it kept me thinking, thats what i like. Talking about the verse, it had a lot of truth about it and gives evryone an insight on how things arel. I really enjoyed this.

You could shorten your lines to make it more appealing, since some people might get lost in the streched lines. Not me however and i give you 8.5/10.

plz return the fev
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107227

mmm nice peice it had decent flow and a nice range of vocab, sorta flowed differently to most peices i have read....Had a nice topic, good peice, I think u should have split the vereses into 2 and included a hook in this, Peace

Man, you shure know your news,history and knowledge like a true hip hop deciple dog. i like this ryme so much that i read over 2 times until it hit me and motavated me.

thnx man.... motivated you to do what???.....

..Ill...as aways droppin an Ill piece..you are getting almost as good as me..LOL~~~~