my thoughts
 

need to get some stuff out of me

I'm feeling depressed, feeling kinda lonely,
Don't know a person out there who cares for me
looking for an escape, searching for a way out,
can't kill the pain, All I can do is shout
Life's getting harder and harder each day,
My emotions are a collage, how i feel, I can't say
I think this is rock bottom, It's only up from here,
But the way i feel the definition of better doesnt come near
Is there a reason to live on, or has my time come?
When you add up the reasons to see tomorrow 0 is the sum
I live looking for the comfot that will come with the rising sun,
But I never find it, by the time I do, my life will be done

It was an alright verse. Just a little simplitic thats all. Maybe work on your structure and stretch those lines out. You showed alot of potential for poetry, just cause I felt the emotion from a couple of those lines. And no dought, better to let shit down in words. Than go out and do something destructive. Just elevate your wordplay, structure, and add a little zing to it as I say j/p... Aight drop hommie, keep elevating...

( Please return the favor and peep the open mic link in my sig. I took time to look at yours and all, so please take time to look at mine, it would be much appriciated hommie )