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-   -   Holla At Dis Little Ting (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=107573)

Razer 01-17-04 09:07 AM

Holla At Dis Little Ting
 
Im the opposite to a geek, because i speak with slang/
Thats why my minds out of reach, but atleast my beats/
Can reach these kids on the streets, i mean i dont mean to preach/
Im just an incluenced rapper, a lyricist to teach/
That lifes could be distinguished within days to weaks/
Because life aint as easy, there are so many slaughters/
Plus TV infultrates some images like ITN Reporters/


I know there should be an 8th line to fit in an 8 bar sequence but i dont really care. I was just bored.

:evilgrin: Holla :evilgrin:

Happy Thoughts 01-17-04 10:17 AM

Kewl! Short but sweet. It kind of reminds me of the one I wrote. You cant laugh at it because I'm new to rapping. Peeps this:

My name is Alicia, and I'm the one,
The definition to the phrase, "Blondes have more fun."
I'm from California, but now lives in Montana,
But I visit Southern Cali, once a year like Santa.
I have my car already, but I only have a permit,
Now that I moved, I sit inside my house all day, like a hermit.
I listen to all types of music, mostly country and pop,
I'm getting rushed to finish my profile, so I'll wrap it up and stop!

Hell yeah! We rock!

Razer 01-17-04 10:27 AM

Thanx for the commentz - Yours was cool aswell!

Menik 01-17-04 08:12 PM

This was ok....your structure needs some work, try keeping your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps the flow out...this was simple i thought...try adding some internals and multies to this to make it better...but keep at it.


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