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-   -   Freestyle..no name.. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=107607)

¤KiNgPiN¤ 01-17-04 01:39 PM

Freestyle..no name..
 
For yall who neva seen me freestyle..

I'm half nigga,half fiend, half man,half machine,guilty conscience has got me snappin' necks on what the heck i don't give a fuck about regrets,give me a gun,let me squize this trigger,pull it back and kill this nigga,think of all the mothafuckers wit' bullet holes in their chests,'cause other mothafuckers couldn't supply hoodlums wit' a vest,listen to me bitches i'm the man wit' the word bitches, i'm the street announcer, the president of the ghetto, living mothafucker sipping air through punctured holes in my lungs, eating shit wit' no gums, spitting rhymes wit' no tongue,watch me squize the life outta this game, make you punk-ass pussies go insane,wit' my brain hung and my songs sung,there's really nothin' left for me to do but smoke out,middle finger showing you mothafuckers what this shit's about,when i step in the scene you better watch your mouth,and hope there's a big dark cloud covering your shame,cause what you're gonna go through what i've been through is pain,'cause i'm a pitbull wit' a fucking membrane!

Good,bad? I think it's one of ma best

madman-doubleSS 01-17-04 01:44 PM

Yo, ya shit was average, but ya just didn't ryhme some of the words well and some of a verses were run-ons. overall a good start. 6/10 from me

¤KiNgPiN¤ 01-17-04 01:47 PM

Eh,thanx for da feedback..any1 else got feedback?

Bio*Chemist 01-17-04 02:05 PM

Oh geezz

Fam listen take the word mother#####*& out your vocabulary ..
your flow was on point..
Vocab sucked...elevate on vocab and structure..
you do have potential I can see.

you just have to strive hard for it...
and do a better topic instead of guns and shooting.. I am from the projects and im tired of emcees talking about guns and killing just stop damn...

other then that it was simplistic..however you have potential..

Be Easy..

Menik 01-17-04 09:03 PM

Yeah this was alright.....just your structure could use some work though, dont put it in paragraph form like that, put it line on top of line so its structured good and so it helps the flow, also try keeping the lines around the same length....but keep at it.

¤KiNgPiN¤ 01-17-04 09:29 PM

Yeah,I dont usually put my rhymes in paragraph form,and thanx for da feedback guyz It should help down the rode..

~JaSa~ 01-17-04 10:03 PM

yeah the paragraph form does kinda mess it up but other wise good job ;)

¤KiNgPiN¤ 01-17-04 10:14 PM

I thought you'd diss it james..haha happy ya didn't..

¤KiNgPiN¤ 01-17-04 10:18 PM

I think that it aint that great..lol i got betta but i'm savin them for..ugh..well i dont really know yet.. =/


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