Fallin In Love Wit A Playa
 

I fell in love wit you and then you broke my heart
I knew never to love a playa
I was wrong from the start
Lovin you was like ripping out my heart
I refused to look and around me and see
All the terrible things you were doing to me
I was in my own world and I didnt see all the trouble you were
I was deeply in love
Now thats all ruined, you see
All because you played me
You had looks, you had charm,
You will slick wit yo words
You knew just what to say
I was foolish to think we were made for each other
I always prayed you would neverlove another
I wanted us to always be wit each other
Lovin a playa is one of the hardest things ever
I have learned alot from my experiences with you
My heart was broken into two
I know now as I look back on my past
Dating a playa will never last
So in my future Ill watch what I do
I wont date anymore playas
But still Ill always love you

this is a gud peice.... and so true... all playas have this feeling about them that just makes everything worth doing for them, mostp people need to learn to listen to their friends wen they tell them that someone is just bad 4 yah all around(myself included). it didnt rhyme all the way through but that was ok. the one thing that i can tell you is to try and get rising and falling actions and try to help the poem climax some were. yours ran a litl on the same pace and had no points that made you read it over to grasp your full meaning. good job tho... keep it up^

return tha fava n read mine its called......"Two Seconds"

the message was good, no girl should be taken for a ride by some jiggalo, i feel that, but i feel it could be expressed in a more complex way, emotion comes across through vocab, the vocab here was simplistic, and, although that works well in certain circumstances, it didn't really provide much use here, if you developed your vocab, this piece could be greatly improved.