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-   -   I Can ('t) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=107942)

Walter Wall 01-18-04 06:07 PM

Limitation
 
I can write a billion words, but none would be adequate to describe her.


I should sing a million songs, but not a one would take note of the longing.


I could raise a thousand tophats but the morning wouldn't express the truth.


I will dance a hundred steps but not one of them will be in the right direction.


I can't drink a ounce more, she loves me to the core. Tells me lies as it slides down my throat I emote pride.


I won't ever love again, she keeps me in her head. All that keeps me sane when the river starts to bend.

filed 01-18-04 06:42 PM

thats creepy 666 posts lol

anywho the piece

short and simple. structure and vocab were simple, but it was nice that way. your imangenary was great thou, a topic of lost love done again, but you kept it interesting and real. it seemed natural and showed its emotion. it was a nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Walter Wall 01-18-04 09:23 PM

lol, Im at 666 posts and your at 420..............dope

Walter Wall 01-22-04 01:08 PM

upp'n for feedback

rule 01-22-04 07:34 PM

This was short...but your lines were good.
I liked the emotion in each..and the words you chose to show feeling
Basic in some parts but dvanced in others...which made it easy to understand
Good drop. I enjoyed it.

Walter Wall 01-29-04 06:46 PM

..............gracias

Verbatim 01-29-04 07:50 PM

short.... but i liked the emotion on each line, vocab was pretty simple but the words still helped with the emotion, Structure was good....keep droppin

peace

FaTaL_LyRiKzZ 01-30-04 10:05 PM

I liked The Vocab No Doubt.Structure Was Great You Got Everything On Lock.Emotional Thats Pretty Hard To Poemize About. keep On Poemizing GL.

shawty"B" 01-31-04 02:32 PM

short... but sweet, nise structure and it was reel, keep it up

Badum 01-31-04 02:57 PM

A Thousnad Hearts Beat 2 Tha Youngbloodz New Debut Nah Lil Suckas It Aint 2002.this Is 2003 And Im Feelin Simply Angry That Shawty B Gave In Her Poem So Soon Hey Ma Give It A Second Go And Dont Think So U Can Be Focused Aighht Yeah I Know Im Tight.

Walter Wall 02-05-04 06:31 PM

^wtf?

.:LadySage:. 02-05-04 10:37 PM

^ THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO FIND OUT
but to the point...
this piece was short and simple, like said above, it's a topic i've read and written numerous times but i like your style, you kept me interested, keep writing, nice drop


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