|
Nameless Collab: The End, The Realist, Dimez
The End
Loneliness always seemed to find me, no matter where I'd hide.. Always hoping that tomorrow, I'd have a loving woman by my side. Yet each and every morning, I continually awoke by myself.. Then proceed through my day, desiring to be somebody else. The Realist Anxiety attacks from always yelling on the phone Its time to relax, I'm getting on the train to go home I look at this couple, sitting in the car ahead of me The look in their eyes screams of deep intimacy Their moments should confiscate itself to just them I can’t help but stare, not bothering to pretend I can tell that they don’t have much to their name His shoes are decaying, blue jeans fading to gray The way they see each other, is my sight erred How can they be happy, this has got to be absurd But I digress, I was on my way home... She drapes her leg over his leg, he smells her hair I don’t hear what he says; it is theirs not to share He runs his finger along her thigh, worn from wear They speak of marriage and affording a proper ring He’s willing to put in extra hours, save for next spring Now I sit confused, can love really conquer greed But how can they be happy they have no money But I digress, I was on my way home... When I reached my stop, they exited as well I tracked their retreat to near where I dwell They were in a loving embrace, all alone I saw it was my face, the one I loved... and our walk home Dimez When I look at you I see an angel full of perfection... Two souls embracing with a connection of affection... Many carelessly approached me in the wrong way... Came upon this angel, so gentle with words and the things he'd say... Vision of gray skies, too many tears dripping softly like rain drops... Thinking about my baby boy puts me at ease then all the pain stops... Putting aside the past, I envision a future of me and my boo together at last... Won’t let us be pulled away by wrong sources, forces, divorces, won’t give up fast... Don't care if NYC is where you live, got my heart to offer with love to give... |
Wow, The End?..Writes with a poetic vibe .. was ok, .seems personal writtin, was ok to read ..u writin, .. maybe something longer?..not bad tho.The Realist:Nice story telling you had here, you used your vocab good on places were they fitted,..has a nice reading..flow to it..but a kinda simple rhyme sheme, but the content, was more important here..to me than..i guess to you aswell, & olso u have writtin,with a good emotion..so that doesnt matter that much, nice drop.Dimez:a short finish, for this collab , nicely handled ..w/ a good emotion in ur verse aswell,..nice work all 3 off you, ..individualy you dropped a nice, read in my eyes..but eey i like good emotion in a drop.. props = ).
|
OK...nicely paced flowing, poetic, and emotional...never let me lose interest...never repeated itself...and was structered well...nice drop...could be more...but still very nice
|
Poetically dope..especially End..Dope 2 bars..suprised to see them..
TR..used fitting vocab..with a good flow..simple..yet nicely pulled off.. Dimez..closed it off fitingly..was..a lost flow at times for me but good.. All I can say is I'm very proud to see End come out and drop 2 bars.. |
Glad Y'all Enjoyed It...:)
Waitin 4 More Replies |
Reply back to mines = (
|
Up Up And Away
|
nice intro by The End..he should have also done a outro..realist verse was better than Dimez in my opinion..I just wasnt feelin hers..I liked Real's story...vocab was decent could have been better..I cant lie..I expected something more from The End..over..8/10
|
fuckaa reply to my open mic!! day and night !! :p
Up^ |
They just wanted my name to be in it to get replies.. and I guess it worked.
:rolleyes: I'll get active again in writing soon, but I'm trying to concentrate on passing this semester. Got to have priorities. :thumbup: |
Quote:
Thats alright.. id like to see some lyrics from you :thumbup: |
Dimez, had the best part cause it was 100% personal
Mine was totally made up End, probably had some truth to his...Dimez was really expressing herself |
End - Nice to see you actully write something...was nice..shoulda been more
TR- Dope verse..pretty deep..reads well Dimez - I see how it is...you can write for this but not our collabo :nono: :cussing: anyway...nice verse..flows real nice..hittin the deep end again overall- nice collabo..cudda been more balanced in lines per person though keep it commin |
the end... why'd ya even bother joining.... couple'a lines.... big deal.. anyone could have dropped them... no beef tho, jus why???the rest seemed ok... nicely portrayed, but still seemed basic in places,,, so i dunno... good.. but with some weak aspects...
|
The End. . You Had A Dope 2 Bars. . Woulda Loved To See More Tho. . Maybe You Coulda Done An Outro Too. . The Realist. . Nice Verse. . Was Feelin It. . Vocab Was Adequate. . Flow Was Nice. . Dimez. . I Was Feelin Your Verse More Cause Of The Personal Side. . I Love Verses That Are Real Deep . . Flow Was Dead On. . Jus Everything Was Dope. . Ya'll Meshed Well Together. . Feelin This Drop. . Pz.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108216 Feedback appreciated. |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:07 PM. |