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-   -   Feeble VS ~Rythmic Hints~ (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=108165)

~Rythmic Hints~ 01-19-04 01:23 PM

Feeble VS ~Rythmic Hints~
 
10 lines
20 mins
house rules
blind spit



ding ding...........

Feeble 01-19-04 01:35 PM

he's thick as a forest. . and so wack he made me key
kid likes the bush... so he campaigned to save the trees ..
im too tired to try, so i'll beat him the fast way ..
you'll make like smokers.. cuz you'll leave in an ash tray...
a bashed gay, harmless faggot kid - im convinced he is ..
so if you post up something dope, it must be coincidence
cuz whenever you drop, we all know its wack as shit
i'll kill 2 birds with one stone.. & throw his verse back at him
fuck you up good... make this battle a nice mauling
fuck rhythmic hints..you need a whole advice column

~Rythmic Hints~ 01-19-04 01:37 PM

You need ta stay hooked on phonics,your bout to be exceeded/
Ima father,you a fetus,I been spittin since before you was semen/
Fuckin bitch, touchin mes a no-no/
You aint even aight, you so-so, couldnt "see me" if I sent you a photo/
I could drop 2 bars & be done/
Because your spits is reused like everyone elses, feel like Im watchin re-runs/
Its apparent shit, but you probably aint aware of it/
My rhymes birthed you, if I died youd be parentless, I could spit this in ancient Arabic/
You useless, last-supper ruthless Judas/
I confused this music student like he was a cubic rubix/

~Rythmic Hints~ 01-19-04 01:40 PM

hahaha holla back................uppin for votes!!!

The Conqueror 01-19-04 01:43 PM

vote Feeble

i was just feeling his punchs more man it's not that rythmic was bad or anythign i just know his punchs hit a little bit harder

~Rythmic Hints~ 01-19-04 01:45 PM

^^^^^^ are u serious????????? yo vote tho dowg......thanx for da feedback

LM 01-19-04 02:21 PM

Erm....dunno where to start

Feeble-
Your verse was Ok....nothin special tho.
Your opener was Ok to make it more effective you coulda worded it better.
Your best line was:

a bashed gay, harmless faggot kid - im convinced he is ..
so if you post up something dope, it must be coincidence


Your flow was good but like everythin else....could of been improved.
And your punches didnt hit very hard....except the one I highlighted
Overall I'd give it a 5/10

Rythmic~Hints-
Your punches also didnt hit very hard but you added the odd personal in there.
Fix your structure tho
Your best line was:

Fuckin bitch, touchin mes a no-no/
You aint even aight, you so-so, couldnt "see me" if I sent you a photo/


Your flow was Ok....but simalar to Feeble really, could and should do better.
Overall I'd give you a 5.5/10......The personals got it eventhough they were weak


v/ Rythmic.......both elevate tho

Born To Kill 01-19-04 02:44 PM

I don't see how this isn't easy as fuck ta judge...

Rythmic spit nice, sure, whatever...

But it was all multi's and played as fuck concepts.

The best line was the "useless last supper ruthless Judas"...

That was tight...

But that was it.

Standing alone.

Going solo.

One line against a tight arsenal of wordplay.

To me, tha one line from RH got killed.

Feeb's hit with some pretty sweet wordplay in almost every line.

The punches weren't vicious, but they were witty and clearly hard.

(Feeble, motherfucker...I've been trying for a while now to figure out a good "two birds with one stone" wordplay diss....can't believe I'm seeing you beat me to it...good work, man)

So, for better wordplay, harder punches, smoother flow due to better format, and better personals (real nice closer)...

Feeble Minded

Holla back...

Vote here!

SyaNidal 01-19-04 02:46 PM

feeble take sit harder more consistant punches and metafors...
rhythmic had a nice verse also but structure wus whack flow wus off...
no one really had any personals i saw one from feeble so he gets it for having them...
my vote-feeble... hit up the battles in my sig... assassin has dickriders and haters in that one lol LMAO feeble try n fix that for me? its in IR...
Pz... _-SyaNidal-_

Feeble Minded 01-19-04 02:57 PM

wherd, upping.

ILLunatic 01-19-04 03:57 PM

LoL.....

Feeble
Funny ass opener
Good flow, nice structure
Good wordplay, and creativity
Nice punches...personals lacked.. somewhat decent
Dope verse ....
Overall......14/20


~Rythmic Hints~
Good flow....Punches were decent
Didn't have any personals.....coulda helped you
Structure was fucked.........
Straight verse tho
Overall........11/20


Vote-Feeble
Feeble simply came harder than Rhythmic
I thought this woulda been a good battle
But rythmic didnt' come as hard as usual

Zarbon 01-19-04 06:33 PM

feeble

he's thick as a forest. . and so wack he made me key
kid likes the bush... so he campaigned to save the trees ..<----decent opener...not too hard though

im too tired to try, so i'll beat him the fast way ..
you'll make like smokers.. cuz you'll leave in an ash tray...<---ok

a bashed gay, harmless faggot kid - im convinced he is ..
so if you post up something dope, it must be coincidence<---this was funny to me...

cuz whenever you drop, we all know its wack as shit
i'll kill 2 birds with one stone.. & throw his verse back at him<---sorta played out..not really feeling it..

fuck you up good... make this battle a nice mauling
fuck rhythmic hints..you need a whole advice column<---ok closer not to hard though..


rhythmic

You need ta stay hooked on phonics,your bout to be exceeded/
Ima father,you a fetus,I been spittin since before you was semen/<---ok opener sorta played..i have seen it lots of times...

Fuckin bitch, touchin mes a no-no/
You aint even aight, you so-so, couldnt "see me" if I sent you a photo/<--blah....a no no so so shit,boooooo


I could drop 2 bars & be done/
Because your spits is reused like everyone elses, feel like Im watchin re-runs/<--another blah couplet,not feeling it..not flowing well either..

Its apparent shit, but you probably aint aware of it/
My rhymes birthed you, if I died youd be parentless, I could spit this in ancient Arabic/<---ok couplet here,not to bad...

You useless, last-supper ruthless Judas/
I confused this music student like he was a cubic rubix/<---not a good opener as well..

vote feeble on this not really a great verse but some decent hitting shit..well way more direct than rythmic..

OutCome 01-20-04 01:30 AM

Feeble Minded
he's thick as a forest. . and so wack he made me key
kid likes the bush... so he campaigned to save the trees ..
the punch in here was ok.. meta w/p was nice not the best opening
im too tired to try, so i'll beat him the fast way ..
you'll make like smokers.. cuz you'll leave in an ash tray...
ok meta...follow through was a lil played, i was expecting more
a bashed gay, harmless faggot kid - im convinced he is ..
so if you post up something dope, it must be coincidence
good line, had me laughin, pretty streight punch
cuz whenever you drop, we all know its wack as shit
i'll kill 2 birds with one stone.. & throw his verse back at him
meta was ok, punch could have come harder... good line though
fuck you up good... make this battle a nice mauling
fuck rhythmic hints..you need a whole advice column
personal wasnt bad, ending could have been set a little better

Punchs were ok ( could have had more personals in it)
Rhyme scheme/ flow was on target ( better multis coulda helped)
Meta/word play was decent (could have tryed a little harder on it)
Opener/ending could have been improved(nothing specil)

16/20


~Rhythmic Hits~

You need ta stay hooked on phonics,your bout to be exceeded/
Ima father,you a fetus,I been spittin since before you was semen/
Not really feeling your opener.. not really seein a punch
Fuckin bitch, touchin mes a no-no/
You aint even aight, you so-so, couldnt "see me" if I sent you a photo/
better, meta here was played.... weak punch
I could drop 2 bars & be done/
Because your spits is reused like everyone elses, feel like Im watchin re-runs/
overdrawn bar, had possibilities, being overdrawn kinda killed the punch, but i see what you were hitten, try a little better rewording
Its apparent shit, but you probably aint aware of it/
My rhymes birthed you, if I died youd be parentless, I could spit this in ancient Arabic/
had me sorta smilin, though the arabic part seemed rushed for the next bar.. punch was ok
You useless, last-supper ruthless Judas/
I confused this music student like he was a cubic rubix/
not bad.. although it seemed like you were trying to force your multi a little bit the punch was iight, ending could have been better

Punchs werent really directed, wasnt that many of them ( nothin really personal, seemed like a generic verse)
Rhyme scheme was to choppy and overdrawn, (sorta seemed forced, althought had alot of potential)
Metas/ wordplay your metaphors were ok, could have had some better wordplay in your verse ( played lines, not really hitting on your opponent, again not to directed)
Opener/Ending Ya opener just jumped right in, your ending was a little better than Feebles but your verse structure isnt really working for me..

14/20


Vote - Feeble Minded

He came with more personals, better punchs, over all better structure and a more creative

Feeble Minded 01-27-04 01:11 PM

upping, yo's ..

villagepimp 01-27-04 01:51 PM

Actually I thought Rythmic's verse was better, but he wasn't really getting any hits
Feeble's verse was direct and had better punches....
I didn't feel Rythmic's opener, the verse was good, but no serious hits.
Vote-Feeble


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