Feeble vs. KLO!
 

10 lines, 20 minutes after checkin, all the regular rules apply.

checking in.

hey feeble, not to freepost but our battle is setup when one of your current two battles closes..didn't know if you got my PM

i cant find it pm me the link please.

Okay, checking in. Doing my verse now. For some reason it won't let me post unless I'm using more than 50 characters.... okay, I'm at like 100-something now. Alright, here I go.

Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot.
My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got
while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock.
Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain
why battling me is the worst kind of pain.
You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue;
you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you.
Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it;
the nutrional value is high, you probably need it
and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated.

Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt..
I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt..
to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping...
two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive..
I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck..
this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up..
my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding..
ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded
dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it
im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ?

Nice verse. But we didn't actually specify a minimum checkin time; rememeber; I said we had to spit twenty minutes after we both checked in. And I did. So, yeah. Um, good job.

Upping for votes. And still the 50 characters thing.

dam....tite battle....but da newb soundz like a middle weight....
he took dis battle no doubt....
punches: klo...he came out harder n strait foward..
flow: tie...good shyt by both
humour: klo.sum of hiz linez were madd funnyy
opener:feeble...kloz' waz kinda corny.....no vocab or anytin
clozeR:klo...good shyt with that
vote: klo
good battle.......no hate
*~1~*
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107625
vote on dis battle plze.....one

Up #2.

Thanks for the vote, Killer. I'd vote on your battle, but I don't have a hundred posts yet, so I can't.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------up #3
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot.
opening could have had more, not much of a punch in your bar.. meta isnt that hard
My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got
while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock.
lacking a little bit of strength in your punchs as well as direction
Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain
why battling me is the worst kind of pain.
filler...
You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue;
you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you.
....
Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it;
the nutrional value is high, you probably need it
weak punch, metaphor needs to be worked on
and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated.
not a bad closing, punch was alright

you lack direction and strength in you bars.. Metaphors could have come across a little better, try an stay away from talking about yourself so much. Your flow was on target for the most part.. But lacked in your multis

Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt..
I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt..
ok opening, metaphor is alright, punch was ok
to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping...
two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive..
losing flow a little, metaphor was good
I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck..
this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up..
oh did he now
my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding..
ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded
punch is decent, good vocab though.liking your follow through
dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it
im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ?
kind of a weak ending, not that good of a punch.. meta isnt there

overall your verse was ok.. metaphors were ok, same with your punchs not much wordplay in it...

vote- Feeble Minded
Came with better punchs, his metaphors were better, flow wasnt the greatest but he still took it.

iight...

Feeble took this...

he had harder hitting punches... his flow was on, much more of the time... structure was better, as was his rhyme scheme...

KLO... you jus need to elevate, direct your punches better, try using different words... use more complex ones... and sort out your structure...

vote - Feeble

can you hit up this topical battle please...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...188#post1109188

thanks

Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot.
My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got
while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock.
Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain
why battling me is the worst kind of pain.
You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue;
you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you.
Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it;
the nutrional value is high, you probably need it
and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated.
this was an aiight verse, but it could be used on anyone...Lacks personals
--------------------------------------------------------
Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt..
I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt..
to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping...
two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive..
I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck..
this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up..
my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding..
ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded
dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it
im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ?
This verse is much more personal

Punches - Feeble's verse contained more harder hitting personal punches
Multi - Feeble took this category
Wordplay - Feeble had one verse follow by another stronger verse.
Flow - Flow was about a tie
Complexity - Feeble used a better array of vocab which lead to a better verse

I vote Feeble Minded in this battle.


Please drop honest votes here...
Battle Verses Quelude
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109584

Battle Verses Killa Kid
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109803