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-   -   ZUDU'S ARRIVAL, Holla Back (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=108924)

zudu 01-22-04 11:28 AM

ZUDU'S ARRIVAL, Holla Back
 
By The Time this hits eyes, it's ryhmed and I'm high,
It's Fine for Them Blind, can't Hide what's in Minds,
Can't Try and Fix Crimes, From Lost and Sick Times,
The Cost is not Slight, Generations, it's Five,
Life's, can't fix mine, ya shine, it's my Spine,
My Hype is most Grimed, Most Lied and then Cried,
Not I, I keep Pride, my cries from inside,
Arise and take Flight, they never seen rice,
They never seen fish, we live devilish,
With a wish to sip cris, rock ice and cop shit,
But Fuck it, I won't let the Devil Take Me,
Even though I signed the Paper, Blood to Elevate me.......

Dev 01-22-04 11:32 AM

not a bad flow going there... the scheme was carried ok, but it seriously lacked vocab, what was there looked like it was there cos it rhymed... also it was pretty short... i would find a good topic and write on that... so its more interesting to read..... but not bad....return the favour

zudu 01-22-04 11:43 AM

No Doubt, I'll check ya shit out, thanks.

Penskills 01-22-04 12:00 PM

..average..you did have a decent scheme going on..but..it was a little too short..keep up..click my sig...

Menik 01-22-04 12:58 PM

Yeah i agree this was alright here.....had some good structure in this i thought....your flow was pretty good, it stayed on point through out the whole piece....had some good vocab in there....probably could have made it a little longer though i think....but overall it was alright...keep at it.


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