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I Felt It
The urge to just write ran through my veins. I had to type something right here and right now...so I did...this is the result. It started off simplistic...but please read on.
It's twisted how these kids end up with their wrists slit Sick shit Another depressed pissed off misfit Listenin to disses Bein thrown by a father figure Till he's got guns drawn And his grip slips to the trigger With fears that are growin bigger Cuz he's steady and ready to pull it Then the glock cocks with a shot That releases a vengeful bullet Snaps and collapse into tears Wishin someone would hold him A sinner's innocence stripped With one emotional moment But that's the way it is In this life of reality When this expression we call love Starts becoming a fallacy Now tell me, How could this be? What's wrong with the world today? How can men be rapin babies And women start givin their kids away? I got shit to say And I'm gonna make sure you hear it With a rage that's caged Released, and you're gonna fear it An apprehensive spirit That's lurking in the darkness With a grain of salt Told hold in the shadows of the heartless An artist of nature's reforms Chasin the storms In the eyes of the cold Rejected in the face of the norms Innebriated by the poems Through imagery's projection Flat on the paper burst free from their discretion A reflection of thoughts From the fountain of youth With yodles and cries From the mountain of truth That amount to the cooth As a study of times past Unbeknownst to them That it is truth! As long as the times last And the rhymes cast Education to paupers For a hope and dream To relay to their daughters Engaged in falters That can change an eternity Till the tears flowed for the mighty Creating rivers that spurred the seeds Of this Earth as it breathes Winds heard through the leaves Speaking of ancient battles Enraged with the front lines And how it was all for naught If only I could change the times... |
Sleepy Bitches >:-|
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good vocab needs more work on struture but quite kool now read mine
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^LoL..woulda prefered a critique...but quick and to the point will work. Structure is like that for a reason...in case you didn't notice :)
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ha no gess im just a wannabe
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Nice piece.I'm not putting up some huge reply in depth or quoting...lol, very good piece, good topic thought at one point to seemed to change the topic..Of course, you got back on track. Good vocab in it. No multies or metaphors but then again they wouldnt have a bearing on this type of written. Good Job.
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I liked the piece..
It was in the sense of..like..emotion there.. Flowed swell with the vocab.. was a very purty piece.. Now much to talk about... Long but because the lines were short.. "An artist of nature's reforms Chasin the storms" ~something just caught me about that.. |
I appreciate the replies...but I think you guys are totally missing the meaning behind the lyrics.....
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UP....reply to so many...and still get slept on...it's bullshit.
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Def. an RnR structure here which I"m not a fan of at all....
But this was nice.... showed some good imagery while keeping a flow.... Decent topic.... could have been improved upon a bit but any topic can use that.... Overall, a good read. |
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