A Pen With No Ink
 

Invisible word`s float in your mind, but no paper
a pencil with no lead, but has an eraser
Lines decept the user's inner thought`s with ease
his journal, finished.. but not started, with a center crease
Tryin to make a demo, but has no way to pay the fee`s
his life long dream... ,,but he`s stuck, slangin tree`s
He`s stranglin his dreams,, piecing up the seam`s
he said he'd make it.. but by all mean`s..
...its falsehood - or so it seem`s....
Blood on his mind,, matchin the eternal grind
he hates the hip-hop deception.. he's caucasion
so there`s no exception... but he jodded it down
...Maybe I forgot to mention, his pen has no ink
there is no person, its the whole hip-hop excursion
Anybody wit a fantasy, who tried to engrave his name
on a emcee stone, but failed.. but wasn't saved
And still loved the game... this is the story
of million`s of kid's worldwide, with one goal..
But will never succed, in the chart`s or a poll
but, made it...

Nice Shit!

tight stuff...visc keep going with this shit..its hott..
maybe we could get a collabo sorted...

pz

..Nice..at first I thought this was directed towards me??...and as I read on I knew this was simply a nice piece..(I still thinks it's for me...)..good flow..nice work..

thanks... uppin for some replys..
pz

Hmm...
Pretty good
You could work on enhancing your rhyme scheme.
Also look for better topics.... something you can expand upon more.
Decent concept here, imagery was allright, so was vocab

Just concentrate on the two things I pointed out and you'll be dope

if u mean it was a diss twords you.. it wasnt..
It had nothing to do wit u