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Street Lights
Street lights
A night of tossing and turning... ...almost absent of sleep Nerves upturned knowing in the morning ...he will finally drop to the single knee . . . . Morning brings nerves as James tries to perfect the words to say Hoping her reply will bring forth such an unforgettable day Cant help but to smile from ear to ear as he pictures the reaction But the nerves raise his hearbeat to the point he has to push it back in Prepares for the task at hand trying to look perfect but time crawls Seems like miles go by trying to get to the ride at the end of the apartment halls Emotions constantly slip and fall, but in the heart James must be right Finally reaches the car, checks the mirrors... ... and once again replays those words he has in store for tonight Praparations fall into place, pictures her face at the sight of the rock Reflects on the love thats formed from sleepless nights with soulful talk Almost to the intersection but cars have stopped, on Aurora and Shale So hurried to call the cell to make a new time, but only got voice mail Just a slight set back, she must be busy, maybe had to stay late But no harm done, called Sage, and pushed back our dinner date "Oh great" James thinks as firetrucks and ambulances rush by Thinking why today had to be the day idiots tried to drive Becoming worried, James gets voice mail again, followed by calls to Sage Its sad how nerves can turn such a minute inconvenience to rage 30 minutes go by and for some reason James' stomach starts to sink Cell rings, but its not the right tone. Instead the ID reads... Mercy Clinic So he starts to think, I lost my father last week, did my mother go? And as the phone approaches his ear James' stomach is now glued to the floor "Hello" he says with an uneasy tone, hands shaking, almost dropping the phone "I'm sorry inform you your brother Mark has just been hurt... his car - T-Boned Tears begin to fall. "Is he ok?, how about the other car?, was anyone with him at all? "He's already gone sir, and a girl - Carrie is still stuck, frame is still being sawed" Could it be? Carrie? do they mean mine? It cant be!!! "Whats her last name?" "Carrie Todd" "Oh god...... No... "Will she live?, Is she in pain?" "I'm sorry sir, but word just came through, she isnt going to make it" And at that moment, the realness of the whole stiuation began to hit Senses overloaded, its like connection not meant to be started to spark And then the phone drops, James looks up and honestly wishes he were Mark Its doesnt make sense, but for some reason all the thoughts are in his head But the one above all is his jealousy of the recently dead Another 20 minutes, finally traffic begins to move again But James stays still, fearing where he should have been Too emotionally drained to put the foot on the gas Cant believe ...he lost love so shortly after accepting it at last Thoughts relax, but still knows life will be tough Especially the thought of not getting to heaven soon enough Throughout the years been through a bunch But now is the time for to endure true fights But its odd how a trip for lunch Would put his emotions through the cycle of the street's traffic lights |
wow...sori but thas all i can say is wow...i mean damn...thas sum shit...wow...and it even rhymed...wow...::speechless::....much much much respect
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Thank you
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Nice read Chrit... It housed much emotion, as I could feel each and every one convey'd through him. Very real,very grasping, yet a nice sutle flow to keep your spirits up with. Great job and I know you had fun doing this, it's one of those peices that seem like it is written without interuption. Like if you just put the pen down and didnt stop till finshed. I liked this alot, so raw, and what a great message to put out thier. Too many are in need of this message.
The structure fucked with my high Dawg, you know how that is..., Great Job, ~Bounce~ |
OMG... damn damn damn
this was.. I can't even find words to label it everything was on point, you portrayed the emotion perfectly, kept the flow right, rhyming, deep, you brought me into the story. Real talented need i say the least. This was truly amazing. Keep writin. |
I love you all....
Maybe thats the alcohol talkin |
wow, firstly..i did not know that Trapt Wit was Chrit! how you doing son? now that little chat about record deals all becomes clear! *SLAPS HERSELF* Now that thats over with..coo poem, nice topic and illest emotion..
keep droppin, ignore my stupidity! |
Damn..I havent read much from you but this was on point..I knew from the beginning, the tone was just so sweet, happy and promising, that something bad was going to happen..that it was too good to be true...I loved the imagery and the descriptiveness of this man's preparations only adds to the saddness felt in the end..You are a very talented writer, some lines of this I had to read over again because they were that intense.
"Senses overloaded, its like connection not meant to be started to spark And then the phone drops, James looks up and honestly wishes he were Mark" "Too emotionally drained to put the foot on the gas Cant believe ...he lost love so shortly after accepting it at last" Its so incredible and soooo sad at the same time..I can only hope it was fiction but either way, very captivating writing..Nice job.. |
damn, i think this is the first piece i've read from you here, but damn hopefully it wont be the last.this piece was so well built, everything was dead on, emotion, structure, vocab all of it, but mostly the emotion. all the detail and thought in this piece was what made that emotion so strong. you could tell something bad was going to happen, but still there was a twist, with his brother and all. i loved this.
~Tera~ DONT HATE |
Thanks = )
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