If these Tears could Talk
 

If the eyes are the window to the soul then my window leaks/
The frame is rotted and the pain has streaks/
The leaking liquid running down my face/
Falling into the tissue guttering i need to replace/
If these tears could talk they'd tell the tales/
Tell the tales where my mouth fails/
No noise is made jus this leakin water/
If noise is made im for the slaughter/
Please don't tell anyone, this can be our little secret/
Under the carpet we will sweep it/

Please give us ur comments and ne constructive criticism is much apreciated as this is my first open mic

reply plz

People are lookin but no replys c'mon

Good verse son. if u can drop like that u hav gota call sum body out 4a battle.if u hav stuff like that u'll do well!

nicely done....keep the flow a little bit mor consistent and give it some more lines and you have got yourself some dope shit right there...6.5/10

Yeah i agree this was a nice short little piece here.....i liked it though.....i liked the first line "If the eyes are the window to the soul then my window leaks" <-nice....structure could be a bit better....you had some good emotion in this, liked that...overalla nice piece...keep at it.

Thanx ne more

..decent short little piece..few good lines...good flow and content..and start replying to others...peace...

Yeah, u got some gd stuff keep it up.

Yeah im likein that verse, ya have got some good punch lines keep it goin! :shoot: :thumbup:

Yo dawg that would make a sick Chorus ina song, no doubt!! Shit is good short verse.....hit me up sometime....Peace

Thanx ne more

Thanx ne more

pretty nice imagery here, kept it plain simple to the point..not bad..couldve been a lil longer..but It was pretty decent...keep spittin