Keystyle Love Hurts
 

Love hurts

I never realized that loving someone so much could ruin you..
I didn't think giving my heart would bring this pain I'm through..
Came to the conclusion that love comes with pain in profusion..
Got my heart broke, laid down ready to die in a state of confusion..
Didn't see why love can go wrong so quickly, my heart beat soundin sickly..
Just staring at the world wondering when I'll be cured, thinkin things fickly..
Wondering if being with others will fix the hole left in the center of my heart..
I doubt it, theres no way to fix me but go to the beginning and hit restart..
This feeling of loneliness can only be cured by Brandy or Country Comfort..
I don't know how else to describe this feeling but the state of being hurt..
I loved you from day one but you decided that wasn't enough for me to keep..
I'm glad this shit was ended now without you seeing my face tears that seep..
My heart breaking in two, one half for me the other five halves for you..
I hate that you are gone and lost, angry at this chance for real love I blew..

I'd really like someone to reply to this, I've been replying to others stuff and no one will reply to mine, I'm just trying to raise my skill level like everyone else on here.

thought ya got some felling into this,,, and the syllable count, set for a decent flow... the rhyming tho was basic... you need to expand ya scheme... add some internals, and carry the rhymes further, but the content was good.... with some work. i see potential.... return the favour

This was pretty good i thought....I liked it actually....you had some good lines in there i thought that i could relate to in some ways....you had some good emotion in this, i could relate to it because i tend to write about this kind of stuff all the time..but you did very nice with what you wrote i thought....i liked it....keep at it.

Thanks for the feed back from you two. Lookin for more advice.

Come on people, I reply to people that reply to me.

Up this for more feed back one more time. Thanks for everyone that replied to my stuff.

i like it lol. Seems like u searched in ya heart and dis is what you pulled out. I guess I really like it because we've all had heart-breakin experiences and it's good to noe that we ain't alone.

My favourite line...
"Came to the conclusion that love comes with pain in profusion..
Got my heart broke, laid down ready to die in a state of confusion.."

Good job man.

I'm still looking for comments that'll help me to improve. Thanks.

Lookin for more tips to help me elevate, thanks for the replies.