aight
 

yo this is my 1st post on this site

did i post it in tha rite section???

feedback wanted on this verse



Two friends startin of with tha same passion
We’d die for rap like girls do fashion
Joined up and formed the instiga8az
That moment there everybody would hate us
You guys got skills day all tell us
Put us down by always slating us
Anger flamed from people bein jealous
Folks asked who writes ya lyrics? Er well us
Cos we weren’t a will, Gareth or one of those fakes
We’d make it to tha top by woteva it takes
But not sell out like a kelis milkshake
But I couldn’t see I was bout to make a huge mis take
I let my life just hit rock bottom
All tha hard work we put in just 4 got 10
And tha instig8az left on tha scrap heap rotten
The close of august and tha close of r friendship
We both decided we should end shit
2 talents still showin potential
And in rap that’s always essential
But we burnt all bridges and couldn’t go back
But both let our guard slip and started to slack
Every opportunity we would try and attack
And it was just maturity that we lacked
Until one day we decided to put it on wax
One final shot, a battle track
The rules, no limit and no biting
But we 4got the rap and just started fighting
Threatening to punch each other’s lights in
And wishing death upon each other
So far apart once close as a brother
But I guess dats life and I gotta move on
I wish this part of my life could be gone
And there was no truth to parts of this song
But there is and im powerless to stop it
And our beef im glad we fuckin dropped it

holla

MC Juvenile

you did post in the right spot..an far was your rhyme..it was weak..your content was wack..your scheme was wack..your flow was extremly choppy...your wordplay was below average..you need to elevate..peace..start replying to others...

ive gotta go wiv wat penskills said cuz it was aite but da rymin was distant, keep at it tho.

Hail Eskiboy*****

ya this was a week verse
keep elevting

Yeah this wasnt that good.....structure was ok, could be touched up though in some of your bars.....work on getting some better content, something maybe you can relate to or is meaningful to you....also try adding some multies to this to make it much better....keep at it.