Your My Worst Enemy (PLEASE READ!!! Took me 15 Min)
 

Yo i wrote this real quick.........The chorus was prethought but the verses i just wrote like 15 minutes ago.....whatever hate if you want.........enjoy an thanks............

Your My Worst Enemy
Written By: Luis "Eleete" Castillo

[Chorus][2x]
Take a look in my eyes
Tell me what do you see//
A reflection of hate
That I'm sure you'll agree//
Tears fall down my face//
Cause the sadness thats built in me//
No matter how i see it
Your my worst enemy//

As i stare into space, I sit alone in da lab//
Escapin my thoughts watchin the ink seep through this pad//
Its kinda sad, visions of anger an hate play through my head//
To know that, i would give up my life in exchange to be dead//
But instead, im still sitting right here//
Holdin back these tears that ive been fightin for years//
Ill just stop right here an finally end it//
The outcome i foresee i never intended//
It seems so demented but this life just isnt for me//
When comes down to it, your my worst enemy//
It aint helpin me, to drown myself in my misery//
But all that i have is my verbal artillery//
Are you hearing me? This shit is making me sick//
You might be askin where is he goin wit this?//
Nowhere!!! im burryin myself in it!!!//
The music, my pen,...my rhyme book an shit!!!//

[Chorus][2x]
Take a look in my eyes
Tell me what do you see//
A reflection of hate
That I'm sure you'll agree//
Tears fall down my face//
Cause the sadness thats built in me//
No matter how i see it
Your my worst enemy//

Im not gonna waste my time on complexity of words//
Thats absurd, cause to be good, thats all i ever heard//
Who the fuck are you to judge me on how to be an emcee//
Somebody help me to be something that you want me to be//
Cause you aint feeling me, you mothafuckaz think that im wack//
That im crap? fuck rap!! you can all have it back//
Your on crack!! I love the music with all of my heart//
Im tired of bitches tellin me how to perfect the art//
You think your smart but i know your just a kid //
On the other side tellin me how to be ill an shit//
Eat a dick!! now you can go snitch an run to your mom//
Tell her another dude cussed you out on RapBattles.com//
This shit is rediculous but i see it all the time//
Wit Penskills, Word~Perfect an all of my rhymes//
I guess its just so sad to see//
You dont believe me? Take a look in my eyes an you'll see//


[Chorus][2x]
Take a look in my eyes
Tell me what do you see//
A reflection of hate
That I'm sure you'll agree//
Tears fall down my face//
Cause the sadness thats built in me//
No matter how i see it
Your my worst enemy//

..very simple and nice..this would make a great audio..I like the second verse more than the first.."I'm not gonna.."that line was clever..I really think your simple aprroach on this paid off ver well..once again this would be a dop audio..peace..

~Click on Hip hop thearpy~~~

Not bad... I pretty much feel the same as Pen... but... I feel you on that shit... you don't need vocab to be a dope emcee... hell fuck dope... n' fuck crack..!



EMCEES ARE HERE..!

Very dope piece...

It lacked vocab and wordplay...

But the message was strong...

And I feel the same way alot of the time...

Peeps be ripping me about my age and skill...

When...

They're nothing but kids, not even outta school.

But they act like they're next to gods...

Hip hop's chosen sons, or some shit like that.

And my age?

Shit!

DMX, Eminem, Jay Z, Dre, 50...

Fuckin all of em are closer to my age (34)...

Then they are to some 14 year old...

Yet, he's gonna tell me he knows more about rap than I do...

So arrogant.

I liked your work.

Peace

:laugh2: ..Old bastard..but he's pretty dope....still old....

lyrically simplistic, little vocab, imagery, no multis or wordplay. yes despite all that you had a good message and an original topic. weirdly, you remind me of myself about 3 years ago when i was writing.

keep the ideas, generate better lyricals and youll be on your way to being ill.

Thank you all for the feedback!!! Its very much appreciated............Uppin for more!!!

props....feelin u on this....

i relaly know where ya comming from...stayed true and wrote a good verse..the chorus fits in very welll and everything is just solid...feeli it..

Thanks Again...^^^^^^^in

yea have to agree very dope piece man, i really liked it, easy to read through and had nearlly nailed everything in that 1 piece. good job.

I liked the fact, when you wrote that, you was concerned in your craft.
commony concentrated, and hated, a mysterous mask. one who, want you,
in terror, but you thinking like "whatever!
you...cant tell me how to make it better".
cause every hater's the wearer.

yo dude i aint even gonna hate im not that type
that was some hot shit (checc me out.......DA-ONE)

pesonally im improving my skills
and if i get signed by a company today im not losing my deal
i make these dudes so sicc they abusing the pills
i cruise through the ville ( short for fayetteville, thats where im from)
looking for fools to kill
put ya money where ya mouth is and lose a mill
my bullets pointy like a pyramid
these dudes on me like little kids

yo eleete, this drop was dope..i liked evrything, the hook was tight, the vocab, wordplay, evrything was on fire, i basically agree to wut evry1 else has said in they feedbacks,............strait dopeness

Peace

return de favor n check my new joint called "shinin light in ur darkness"