Corrupted Visions: Venting
 

So many things can happen to end a relationship…
All of this pain you left me, now its just me facing it…
Cause you did so much to hurt me you fucking bitch…
Saying that you loved me, but your off sucking dick…
All of this going on behind my back you big slut…
The gigs up…from all the fucking facts I dig up…
Like you not around when I fucking needed you…
Saying you didn’t do shit but I fucking seen it too…
You fucking skank…lie out your damn ass like gas…
You say forget it?! Fuck that, we cant surpass the past…
You want me to forget things?!…sorry bitch I cant…
I thought love meant your suppose to be in my pants…
Not his…wondering why I got pissed?! Your stupid…
I didn’t do a fucking thing wrong…whore you did…
All of these fucking lies you fed me like damn food…
You saying we had a future and us starting a fam. too…
Fuck that!…I don’t want you in my life no more..bitch…
Cheating on me I didn’t expect that, so show more tricks…
Like disapearing out of my fucking life, but don’t reappear…
Only if you can see the pain I have and see my tears…
All the pain you caused me got me hurting so damn bad…
On the outside I act happy but inside this mans sad…
But if I had one fucking wish it would be for you to die…
For feeding cukoo lies like how you didn’t do two guys…
I blame this rhyme, else you’d be dead and id claim that crime…
Everytime I think of you it rains inside but this pain is mine…
Every night I pray to god that this bitch would pass away…
Cause if you were here with me still you wouldn’t last a day…
Everything I fucking said is true shit and I would do it…
Cause all I want is to see you die so damn bad you bitch…


This was keyed up cause i was just venting over some things that happened about a month or so ago.

another love thang... but no, thought this was very expressive, all of it anger... the scheme was quite simple, but with the multis and syllables, it flowed nicely... the voacb was pretty limited but, that didnt take away from it.... all in all i liked it,,,, but it seemed to take a different flow towards the end...... hit mine..

..Very nice..you have been on this love & Hate thing for a minute now(softy going to problems???..LOL)anyway..I'm feeling you on this one..I have felt like this before..your right on the money with the multis..peace..read my new piece..hip hop therapy..

yea thi wwas a very Nice keystyle i really Like this..i liked your Multis they were very well used...i think this is the first Keystyle u have done all your others were in a song content....ya structure was good which i thought was a strong point in your writing...so all and all keep em droping in and in would like to see more Keystyles done by you this was really good...PeacE...

Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.

--[Flow]---
Thought the flow here was nice, you had some dope internals in there, and as the peice progressed so did your structure..seemed to fit better towards the end...but it was pretty good all of the way through.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was somewhat restricted..seemed to want to get out but was caged in..ya know..? It was only a key afterall but felt like that potential was there but it just wasn't showing.

--[Concept]--
Lokoed at it and thought - not another love song!! lol, but you added a dope first person veiw to it, some real emotion and real feelin's expressed in this piece, made it hit home a little more..although it had a little "Kim" feel about it:

"All of this pain you left me, now its just me facing it…
Cause you did so much to hurt me you fucking bitch…
Saying that you loved me, but your off sucking dick…
All of this going on behind my back you big slut…"

--[Overall]--
Was nice...you had some fleunt flow and you showed some good real emotions in this piece...3/5..had alot more potential than was showed, howver you said it was only a Key so it was good from the perspective.

Yeah, Thanks For The Nice Long Feed :) Just Had To Get Some Things Out.

I liked this piece, the emotions were right there on top which I feel usually adds to drops. It had a good flow to it that made it enjoyable to read as well. It seems to me that you have lots of potential and your already on a high level so just keep elevating and putting this kind of quality stuff out.

This was nice and good flow, vocab almost seemed to lack a bit at times but overall it was good, nice use of multis as well. Love, chicks and all that stuff seems to be a played topic but you sure as hell did it well 7/10

Yeh very emotional one here again I was feelin it...it doesn't matter if it's on this topic still cos you gotta express it in some way...

Thanks for the feed, Upping.

yo credz this piece wus one of your better... really good keystyle... structure wus good it flowed perfectly... the multis were there... and it stayed on topic, everyone has these moments... (im pretty sure) id do the same thing if i wus pissed about that... specially if it wus all true... i like the way you aproached this similar to the way i would... good overall peep my open mics in sig errybody...
_-SyaNidal-_ AKA -_BugZ-BunNy_-.... OUT