Angry
 

im always angry bee//
i think is da pain bee how far can fame be//
i can see the starz the cant feel my pain they own the game bee//
im think im mad at you and me//
i dont think its the candy i keep da piece handy//
idont think you ready fo my rhymes they to heavy//
got more horse power then my dads new chevy//
i spit fire so steady like my man wit da ak he ready//
im so angry cant feel the pain bee//
you dont know how insane my brain be//
yall niggas iz lazy catch my fade bee you know ya girl lade me//


this waz my first written song i know i can elevate im lookin for constructive
critizum and tips to help me elevate.
i wrote dis cuzz today i got kik out of school and i have go to op school
for tellin a teacher i killed someone in my dream waz i suppose to lie
:shoot: :help:

c'mon give advice or sumthin plzz

think you tried to go overboard on the multis, but didnt really work. also the rhyming was way too simple, dont rhyme with the same words.... put more effort into the content and even it out a bit... you need to elevate... at the minute this is no good.... check mine out...

I'm not feeling this..shit as too simplistic..and it didn't come out weel at all..you really need to work on your flow..peace..

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way too simple...like reading from a book...basic story with ak's and killing...be more creative...and if you rhymed be, or bee, or b anymore...then i think the world would blow up...lol...but elevate on the real