First Topical..
 

This was for my first topical, but it looks like its gonna turn into a no show..
Drop some feedback if possible...

Topic - Corrupted Vision

Afraid... an abstract pass of blurred senses.. he's subtly intoxicated
Conscience slowly fading, reality's lost... feeling strangly sedated
Victim of a corrupted vision... hidden agendas... obsessive agression
A view that society must progress through mass social oppresion
One mans distorted perspective... traced back, but hardly old news
Contemplate.. we almost lost a race, with the persecution of Jew's
One of many.. though lesser thoughts are often hard to distinguish
Bush's ulterior motives.. public acception is harder still to relinquish
Subject matter expressed, in realitys context is everywhere
From subliminal advertising..... to Kazaa's god damn spyware
Corrupted visions.. so surreal.. we gain such respective insight
From past Malcolm X appeals, to Pac's death and Suge Knight
To sadistic fiends and rapists, abruptly spreading their seed
Each laced with the basis of thoughts personified by greed
Notable narrative inducing visions of the mind and parallel paths
For cause and effects coincide.. opposites.. we cry when we laugh
Realise circumstances.. corrupt or just the wrong point of view?
Stereotypes to ignorance.. no doubt they've happened to you..
Reluctance addressed with desire, produces involuntary promotion
Right or wrong... real opinions evolve from true human emotion

Anyone? Just any kinda feedback really....

12 views... no feedback.... man....

A creative approach..
& especially for a first topical it's nice.
Good vocabulairy, metaphors a few..
All that was needed, is there, to make a good topical.
Some mentionable quotables..

Subject matter expressed, in realitys context is everywhere
From subliminal advertising..... to Kazaa's god damn spyware

Of all i like this the most, fresh & 'breakin out' of the standard imagery.

Alot of potential.