give some feedback plz
 

If it suckz I dun give a fuck... :laugh:

Misery is all I see, only thing that comez to life
People I love leave or die right in fronta my eyez
I never realised how much life has his own valuez
if u were still here there'd be so much to tell u...
agression anger hate cuz u are gone for life
My big mouth turned quiet, all the sudden I was cryin'
tearz rollin' down my eyez, why did u have to die?
couldn't someone else pass away that night?
Fuck God, guezz that mothafucka dun really excist
Wish I could take it back, yo I'm sorry for that diss
I was mad and angry, and dumb as I was
I had to make the track, actin' all hard
but u know it wasn't real, unlike the love I feel
wish u were here... now I'm down on knees
itz not fair... yeah but after all what is
life's like a crappy toy, the piecez'll never fit
there aint no manual included with some good advice
waz it about hate or pride, the starz n stripez?
It waz pride, that made me say what I said to u
but remember all my love for you is true...
even though you're gone, I will never forget
thiz iz one of them thingz I'll alwayz regret.
did they took u away from me, or did I push u myself?
if I did, sorry, cuz u were there when I needed help
u supported me 'n sticked by my side, with everthin' I did
fuck the beef, all the thingz I said never ment shit

nobody?........................................... .

its alright, you had topic, but ya flow was off and ya need to elevate your vocan and wordplay. nice atempt tho.

ok thxz..............................................

This was alright.....structure in this seemed alright.....the flow in this was ok, it kinda got off at some parts for me though but other than that it was alright....try adding some more multies to this though....the content was alright in it....but keep at it.

Feedback...
 

Nice intro:




"You describe it well, could've extending more 'explicit details'
more 'internal words' that make the flow of it sound smoother"




"And I also agree more vocab and wordplay ..."




You got props from me


JamesJr.


(Think of throwing rhymes in there?)