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CBL: Hidden Underneath
Hidden Underneath
Why should I suffer a consequence for my actions? With a proper reaction, the beliefs won’t be fractioned Felt this way from the dawn of the day she phrased A response to my call, her voice remained engraved To please her I would cut all the flesh, first a shave... Her present affection was an athlete of high caliber Her joyous laugher showed he was always after her Had a flash of inspiration to black list his credentials Sequential steps unfolded by proper use of a pencil I could break her heart with a sharp well forged feat So intricately unique, no one can identify me the cheat I even chimed a greeting from the socially weak tree I spent weeks being savage, time to establish step three... Caught her alone, qualms withhold to start my walk Palms are drenched, dry then start the ascend to talk First I start be commenting on her attire and her plans She understands where I stand, declines cause of a man My tears unfold, my mask is shattered, I begin to speak Everything is told, my soul is battered when her eyes see What’s Hidden Underneath |
yup, this is why i dont post anymore :)
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My tears unfold, my mask is shattered, I begin to speak
Everything is told, my soul is battered when her eyes see What’s Hidden Underneath these bars right here strait hit me....some dope shit^^ 1st off i noe how u feel homie n the fucked part is u like a vet n no1 reply to ur shit n im still a newbir cuz no1 leave me feedback to elevate but newayz............ Ur drop was fire liked evry thing bout, the wordplay, the vocab, n the imagery in the last verse n the emotion u put into it, the drop was strait up dope so props 2 u n kee p dropin...lookin to see more n if u can return de favor n give me sum feedback on "the StrEEts" b much appreciated Peace |
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^ I feel you..but..this was grat..your imagery was dope..your wordplay and vocab was also very nice...I wish people would write more stuff like this..instead of "I'm a thug you a thug my baby mama a thug..etc..etc..."..I wish you would drop more O.M's more often..peace..click on my sig if you get a chance and let me know what you think.. |
thought the best thing was the way you told it, with the imagery and description.... it flowed pretty good too, being well worded.... all in all i liked it seemed to have feeling in it.....
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Sad sad day
Thank you |
Very nice. Really felt ya verse. Loved the wordplay and emotion/feeling it brough while reading it. Good topic... but it was your verse that made this a great piece. Very good vocab. Very nice. If you never post again I'll be upset cause like ya name, you bring real stuff to this site.
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word! |
:( up
please? |
Pretty dope..Like Dev said..the shining point was the way you told it... Great storytelling and writers voice.. Your vocabulary was also strongly used, And your ending was dope as hell too. Very Nice piece.
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this was a bit different than im used to reading from you...
yeah the flow was on blah blah you always have good flow i was nicely surprised by some internals and multies that really put the icing on the cake...one thing is to try to stop writting about females all the time...you do this a lot experiment a bit with other types of situations and species lol vocabulary was for the most part nicely fluctuated and it didnt make it seem heavy nor light....imagery was ok not your best but it was still above average for most people in here all in all i give this a 7/10 ;) lol |
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Dez: The best things in life are free, but they wont look at you if you dont have anymoney Bruk: Women are the reason im alive TR: Women make the world go round...id walk from here to the other side for them fuck what you heard emerge, us 3 porn addict know where its at... B2K "I got everying i want in my life..except a girlfriend" |
Hidden Underneath, But Skillfully This Peice Rises To The Top.
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REALIST YOUR WACK! JUST STOP RAPPING RIGHT NOW!
you flow is off. absolutely no emotion! your ending was garbage. just throw that whole verse away! the only good thing about it was your verses were short. FUCK YOU. :thumbup: just kidding....i already told you what i felt.....WEEEESSSSTTTSDSSSSSIIIIDDDDEEEEE spelled wrong! |
iight...
Liked this piece alot... Had great imagery... Vocabulary was dope... Excellently portrayed the topic you had... Creative... Used your brain... Which very few people do anymore... Wordplay was dope in this... Its nice to see more people dropping none 'self-glorification' OM's... Like Pen said... Thug this, Thug that... Blah... Keep dropping... Worth the read... Hit up the links in my sig... Thanks... Pz... |
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