Acro Nim tryout:Future Reflections
 

okay, here you go...this is my tryout. not to many internals but sometimes i don't feel they're necessary in the piece, depends on the point i'm trying to get across...so it's up to you........

looking deep inside, i opened up the window to my soul
unlocking keys to great mystery before i'm swallowed whole
the past, my faithful companion standing strong until the end
helping me make sense of life, my only true undying friend
but the future lies ahead, limitless boundaries, unrestricting
inside my brain is dead, at least that's what my mind's depicting
so many variables affect exactly how my future becomes my past
exactly why i proceed with caution, caretaker of this heavy task
but at the same time, running wild, mistakes can be beneficial
still bearing the heart of a child, eyes wide open acting wishful
i push forward only to look back, to me it seems to be ironic
that i have a frienship within myself, although it seems platonic

if you would like for me to write a piece with a more internal rhyme scheme i can do that to....this is just how i felt about the topic...

I'd fucking die first before I write a rhyme as fucked up as diverse, try a curse a hook, bring out the old spell book, your shits perverse, try standin infront of a mirror, write and rehearse.

i'll stop there for now.......... :flipoff:

bitch STFU! stop freepostin in my shit or i'll fuckin have your bitch made herb ass banned.....plain and simple.

I thought this piece was okay, you had good structure, and your stuff rhymed, you could probably use some work on vocab, and maybe some more complex rhymes, and you said yourself that there wasn't much internal rhyming, I don't think it's always nessesary either but some is good. Other than that I thought it was good, keep posting and you'll definatly improve.