CV-(look credz i did it right) title: Watching My Steps
trying out different styles, not so sure i like this peice that much, but might as well drop it
watching my steps The boy Shatterd glass, to me its basicly the sound of relief for one second, steve, can be off my ass, good greif hes just my stepdad, nothing to me, except paranoia well thats all he gives me, and hes the size of a sequoia plus he hits hard, and with my bad grades, i cant get far he tells me im nothing everyday, while hes leavin the scars he belongs behind bars, but im not gana be the one to rat him out hes my moms husband, so respect is the only thing out of my mouth he came from the south, lies and says its normal to take licks he makes me sick, litterally my stomach cant take swift kicks hes a dick, he wont even try to just be my friend ever since the day i met him, my lifes been in a bend i guess my mom likes him, so i dont tell her what he does to me wouldnt wanna know what hed do if my mother would happen to see ide have to flee, burn the bridges behind me, and loose all past but to prevent that, ill just take another step, another day to last takes his anger out on me, im scared every time he flexes is triceps dont wana find out what its like when hes mad, so im watchin my steps the step dad I really cant stand my step-son, not an athlete, and doesnt hit the books god didnt give him anything to work with, beleive me he cant get buy on his looks and its fun to leave him shook, espeical when my tepors mild i give a meaning to beating the unexpected step child hes a liar, or atleast i expect him to be, theres nobody to see just the way he treats me alone is the reason i make him bleed and his mom....she dont know shit and if she did she wouldnt care she knows where im coming from, the kid is allways in her hair i know hes scared of me, and i know where he thinks the guns are kept so instead of watching my own, my precisly watching my stepsons steps the mom Another fight, why wont the man just leave, i mean ide kick him out, but i know what my son sees i know they get along, hes the only friend he has Steve treats him like his own, hes a great dad but a horible husband, and a jerk to just begin my son and him are close, i guess, he wins My son got beat up again, another dreadfull day at school i only know what he tells me, hes explained hes not cool but for somereason he likes it there, he loves to learn i admit hes not that bright, but his mind dieing to yearn and the bruises on his back are appaling, im afraid of what i might do pull my kid from school, just to help his health so he doesnt die soon dont know whats in his mind, and where is thoughts are kept so im looking back, at what went wrong and my sons previous steps The boys going down the wrong road, you reap what you sow but to hurt the mom and damage her mind she must know but how, only one way out, or will time just tell eachone thinking about someone, the boy is thinking about hell he just lets his wounds swell and takes another days reps and to determin his fate, he just watches his next step |
Wow, im proud of you man lol...But great drop topic....you nice imaginary in this, i liked it, pretty nice.....it had a nice flow to it i thought, stayed on pretty well through out the whole piece...overall id say everything is awesome....made a good read....keep at it.
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thanx man uppin
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uppin for feedback
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dude..this was very nice...I was working on a piece like this..but after seeing this...I can't put it up...anyway..your imagery was great..it flowed pretty well..this was a nice piece..
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Yeah this was nice, flow was ok, vocab was good on point.. & story was nice, the 3 diff story angles were nice to read, u did it well, u got some potential ... keep dropping, .. & all =) nice read man ..
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uppin for feedback
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i really liked this coz i was expectin the father to be all ' i love him but he hates me' sort of thing,, but the flip was amazing.. i was impressed... i think with a lot of fine tuning that concept could be a track
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well im no audio man so this will never be a audio from me, uppin
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I thought it was an alright read in my opinion though I'd say u could do alot better if u took more time with it and I can say that I can sorta relate to this so I thought your imagery was good and u had good content with the whole story aspect of this piece. I think u coulda had some more multi's though and the rhyme scheme seemed sorta basic but it made for an easy read only thing I thought it was lacking really was wordplay. but other then that man it was an alright piece. keep droppin bro peace.
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That Was A Nice Drop Nice Vocab Flow And I Like Thee Way You Useg Imagination Flow Was Good And Also I Liked The Way You Used More Then 1 Character Thats Pretty Hard
9.5/10 |
thanx uppin for feedback
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Wow, this was pretty realistic. I can actually imagining this happening somewhere out in the world, in some low-class neighborhood. The mental pictures i get when reading this, just blows the proportion of a rhyme as i know it. The stereotype of rap isnt like this at all, its more like, some poetry, but as you think about it, rap is poetry with a beat. Some lines could have been reworded, but this was pretty good stuff. Keep up the good work. Even though this was an easy read, it still hits deep down (Hits fist on chest). Good job.
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well ok then uppin
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the drop was alright nice flow and the topic was all good but u didnt use much vocab with a bit beta vocab this piece could be very good
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