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Chao 01-30-04 10:43 PM

Insert Title Here (couldnt think of one)
 
Sometimes i just feel like i should give up
say the hell with this, and just quit and shut
the pages to my rhymes, close em for good
i dunno but sometimes i think i really should

it's like no matter what i do, or what i write
people point out the wrong, never the right
i'm being looked upon as just a nobody
i wonder why my wrist's are bloody

should i just give in and not put up with it
should i finally just drop the pen and quit
only people that truly belive are my friends
or do they just say i'm good, cause i'm there friend

i dunno anymore i'm getting used to the pain
holding so much in, just for the love of the game
so easy to release shit with just a plain pen
but it's so easy to say shit to lose....a good friend

i dunno just somethin i had on my mind, venting i guess
peace

shawty"B" 01-31-04 02:20 PM

hey yo this is a madd gud peice!! its the kinda thing that alotta poets and writers think sometimes wen they dont hav faith in wat they do, i think that u have an xtremely strong point here and that u put alotta thought in2 it. gud peice overall

.........favorite part...........

it's like no matter what i do, or what i write
people point out the wrong, never the right
i'm being looked upon as just a nobody
i wonder why my wrist's are bloody

^^this is such a gud stanza, bcuz its so tru

Chao 02-01-04 02:25 PM

thanks for the feedback
uppin

filed 02-08-04 12:05 PM

i liked the concept behind this piece, was interesting. you toook your thoughts straight out, and wrote them well. rhyme and structure were basic and simple, and vocab was plain. but it was a vent, you showed emotion well and got your thoughts out good. was a nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

PS. do things for yourself not for others.

LadyWun 02-08-04 04:37 PM

Filed said it all...


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