Will U?
 

If I were to die will U cry a single tear from ur eye?
Or is ur head held too high? .. And if so why?
If I were to try and commit suicide durin' my high
Would U cry a single tear from ur eye? ..
And if so why?
Have I made such an impact on ur lives
That U believe I speak the truth when Im tellin U lies?
Will U try to look past the cover on my skies and ..
Please stop showin' sympathy for where my tear drops lie?
And why ..
Am I the one forced to shed blood?
I hate love because Im the one that always tries to make up
I hate love because Im the one that makes ur cries smear ur make-up
I hate love because of the false stories I forced to make up ..
Juss to make love!
So if I were to die because of my problems
Will U tell my love that my dove hit rock bottom?
And if so why ..
Do I have the be the one buried under my problems?
I've tried to solve them but my heart was to narrow
So will U forgive me?
.. Because I have died from the impact of Cupid's Arrow.

very good leaning more to poetry side.
kinda deep there bud. U shouldnt have cheated on her. ;)
but besides that good read i enjoyed it.

that was leaning a little more on the poetic side but it was still very creative...i enjoyed the topic very much and i especially like how you interjected each verse with questions....helped add to the overall feeling of the piece...and i like how you ended it as well...all around nice drop here, to be expected but you definitely met or surpassed quality standards with this shit...nice drop..

i didnt know you could do poetry.. but that was a real good piece.. your getting better at this, your gonna be soon as a topical writer 2 and not just a battler :) im impressed keep up the good work

yo homie that was sum nice shit...looks like u had a lot of emotion, like the way u structured ur drop, wit questions like diverse said, nice vocab n meaning, overall this was sum nice deep shit homie...kee p doin ur thang

peace

return de favor n leave sum feed back on my drop http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111182
^^click dat

that was cool. u make a pretty good poet

Uppin .. One

we aint in the same crew anymore...
but ur still the shit when it comes to
these things man. Beautiful on some
forreal forreal shit.

Crews ain't got shit to do wit it man .. We ain't been in the same crew for a while .. LoL .. Good looks on the feedback tho fam .. Shit's gettin' slept on like a grandmutha .. One

Pretty dope here.
I liked the poetic aspect added to this, when you kept putting the two main themes. I can't say much about this piece, it was very well done, very well thought out. The I hate Love parts were pretty dope and were standout to me. Nice Piece.

Uppity up up Uppity up up look at my piece gooooo
Uppity up up Uppity up up under every1 elses soooo

I had to up it .. One

Uppitying it .. One

aiyo this wasn nice it really wasn't on my style of choice but yet it was good i'd have to agreee with the first to replies tho. it did sound more like a poem than anything but yet still hot
holla
yo i feal you on that no replies shit too no one replies to m shit either son just be glad you got some holla