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Look Closer-B.I.D
jus felt this was an overall well thought out piece that created ill imagery
actually read it properly before commenting Jus Feelings onto Paper Mental Diary:- Blind bastard Eye Lids..so how did it come to this?
Enigma of the Purest yet you fail to make Emphasis the deepest Abyss..of a solemn chamber of thoughts where feelings are hated N Distraught but not Caught so I Bought a new Aura..jus that something thats Purer where you can feel it yourself & decide nothing can be Surer to the Core..a Cataract of Sights Enbedded into Cells locked up N Abondoned far from Wishings in the Wells Coasted by Bells..that sound you hear as Silence draws Near is it the start of a new year or jus the Attractment of Fear can you Hear? its like a Ringing yet we all still cant See an Idol of Amazement that we still cant be sure if it can Be Joy? Fun? Glee? thats nuttin that you can Dare compare to Me its like the Sea w/ No Salt..its a Tax w/ No Fee I mean it doesnt Exist so Resist & be a Pacefist Eyes clog up like Mist..tried to Look but sumthing Missed was it b/coz I'm Pissed? but even Microscopes couldn't Magnify the Biggest most beautiful being..Example just off the Sky I yearn to Fly..get outta this World..Universes are Waiting far from Leadership Elections..I'm sick of that shitty Debating the Hating..the Foundership n the Stuff thats Immoral.. ..like Hosed down Leadership where Questions are Unanswered but Answers are Questioned you could Bring in a Good Idea yet it would never be Mentioned now in Detention..my Food for Thought sent me Unstable for Encouraging myself for Bringing More to the Table N not being Able to Avoid the Views of Others coz I listen to my Brothers n the Views of Other Mothers take in their Ideas & Try to plz the World but not listening to Myself..and More Ideas are Hurled across Rooms w/ no Walls..N walls w/ No Floors till they drop to Oblivion Striving to the Cores of a Prone Hazard Mind..that finds it Hard to Find to Look straight Forward..Instead of Always Behind but wot do I know?? I'm jus a Mentally Unstable Ex-Dictator A serial Against-Hater and a thought Possessed Debater I just Explained the Hatred in those Lines n the Self-Implagued Disease but wen I looked Closer in the Mirror..I found out it was Me straight from the walls of Assylum another Dictator toppled who's next? |
Y thankyou!! expects a NO lol
anyways feedbk wud be appreciated |
lol..Id like to have some feedbk on this plz peeps
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wow....this was really really nice....
it flowed very nicely, very smoothly, there as good use of internals....but no multies, which baffles me. the content was good, the ending was solid...writer's voice would have been stronger. I'm going to say In though. I liked this a lot. |
No.
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^^^^
1 vote...rejection hurts lol |
i'ma say in.
this was real nice pice one of the best i read for a while!!! |
The wording on this was very original, some fresh rhymes on here, the flow had originality to it, It was very good actually, I was feeling the words more, It was one of those pieces where you can't anticipate the next line, I was really feeling the wording of this piece and progression, I'd have to say it was legendry, I think, I'm not sure what qualifies for it, Apart from this was a piece i read twice, very rare thing!! Pz man
V/ IN |
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Want to settle in a topical battle?..its not legendary. |
lmao..wots ya fuckin problem? I aint got no beef w/ you
get off ya high horse..how in the hell did my comment offend you? i was playin coz noone had peeped it.. i know for a fact ya aint even read my piece.. Maven,Potent etc actually took time to read it and voted it in...... I aint got nuttin against ya & would enjoy a topical against you set it up & pm me the link |
This honestly wasnt worthy, i dont know what the fuck you all saw in this.
And lay off my structure you fucking asshole. |
Yepp..nice..but not legendary..
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was never your structure & your jus some herb kid that lies bout having no internet now die..your wack, noone likes you go away plz |
cam just voted you out because you "stole his structure". trust me .. he is like that .
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I know Feebs
he's a bitter lil boy who jus has a sad outlook on life he thinks he was original to a style..yet he bites everyone all i want is a lil honesty...he thinks every piece he does deserves to be in legends..sad boy |
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