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-   -   The Dia-Gram (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=111591)

THE DALABIL 02-02-04 01:19 PM

The Dia-Gram
 
Without Rock'n a Fella I'm giving the blueprint/the Word given by a lyrical fools hint/My-ego-has-been-left in check on both sides like its been put in a splint/Father and Holy Spirit pressed in on this fab-gent/in the lab-and left him skint/from head to toe - and gave him a new heart without a single dent/And now "May I present" - imagine this - its the same person, new soul, new ride, roll wit me - spit'n views that stay crisp and when dropped so far not a single released has been missed/My history has been fixed/got past the lies and found out "4-real" my name was in the book of life and it was one of the first on His list/

Lose ya?

He's been waiting over centuries and time/
training ears and hearts to listen and catch this in rhyme/
took a straight gangsta nigga waayy past his prime/
cleaned him up some so that you could catch His spirit-filled lines/

Got it?

8 million years of waiting has left my soul anticipating the prolonged agony of getting to step on those thats been straight hate'n/Let it be known officially, the light, now I'm facing/cause for the height I'm placing/the money, the farm and the cows...because I'm tracing/The footsteps of a WINNER, done purely by His mercy and His saving Grace...so...

It matters not-what you say to me/
It matters not-if you never pray for me/
It matters not-because I definately got mine/
and I'm praying that He let's ya'lls little light shine/

Penskills 02-02-04 01:30 PM

Hmm...this would've actually been decent if you structure it differently...you had few good quoteables(some were corny)..get rid of the //..this is text..and it makes it confusing to read and follow..peace...~click on my sig..dream or reality..

Primal Riot 02-02-04 01:38 PM

This was pretty good but as ^ he said, you need to put it into a structure, you didn't have a set rhyme scheme that was consistent throught but it was pretty good. Keep uppin man.
-Check my first on here
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111585


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