Deacon vs theunderrated
 

topic: Listen

due today...check in now

ok well damnit ...i now have three open but fuck it if a mod sees this close my one vs. diverse he won it anyway......checkin in...good luck

Told you, you could post.
-Axe

have to post now sooo here it is..if you dont post by tonight...you lose no questions asked


topic....listen


Yeah you got a lot to learn you’ll be 17 this comin autumn
Im concerned your life will turn downhill just like ah slalom
I know your having problems and if you want im right here
Your living in the fast lane and yeah its hard to shift gears
Im hearing lots of things from different folks about your hard times
How your slippin through the cracks like you were walking on ah fault line
Did you think I’d see or realize your true worth
Or are you just another dime who use to role to school first
These dudes work their magic and you set the perfect stage
From tragedy that happened right off the Shakespeare page
Your only 16 you barely learned how to drive
And now your fuckin with white lines to make you feel more alive
And yeah your just a little child you’re like a sister to me
It aint my business but you gottah just listen to me
So take your time and if you want we can find a higher road
Go slow, because this highway to hell it takes it toll
And you know, that things are much much closer than they appear
So slow down, brake slammin makes it harder to steer
You were travelin the low roads and got addicted to the highs
Its kinda urgent like your swerving you ignored the warning signs
And I aint tryin to preach I wanna speak with my friend
And you should listen even though I only say whats been said
You spend to much time drunk just getting them looks
From dudes that are hittin on you instead of hittin them books
And your messin with a lot of chemicals just tryin to cope
How are you going to find balance when you walk the tight rope
And you know your teachers spoke about the dangers of sex
But it’s a shame they haven’t tought you how to have self respect
And I aint sayin that its bad to know a man and his touch
But when you count on three hands girl you had it too much
And your such a pretty girl it’s a shame that you left
These dudes treat you like your just another notch on their beds
So stop cloudin your head with all the drugs and these lies
You got a long way to go, I got your back the whole time

I hear the raindrops reverberate a symphony off the pavement...
The screams of a nations ancestry brought over on a slaveship....
The president screams for war the nation hopes for peace....
neither listens to the other the outcomes loved ones deceased...
I hear an industry in shambles..put your ear to the street..
Hip-hops dead if you a true head I know you feel me...
Listen to parents chiding children they no longer understand...
Listen to children raised off of bullshit words like.."Get it anyway you can"..
Listen to the poets of the world try to find beauty in devastation....
Listen to the racist factions ruinin unity with legal demonstration...
Listen to the wonders of nature, take in serene silence...
Listen to every man,woman, and child strive to stop sensless violence...
Listen to the tears of the victims, the excuses of the accused....
cheers of the opressed for a dictator out of fear of being abused...
Listen to their struggles, Personify objects give them life and sound..
for each creature tells a story always unique and innately profound...
Listen to the Hustle-bustle of a world shrouded in shadows...
Populated by innocent souls lead like a slaughter to the gallows....
Hear the hunger pains cried by the less fortunate we tend to ignore...
that's just white noise compared to the sensless savagery we abhor..
Listen to generations before us protest they did their best...
as we vainly scoff at our elders and show them......no respect......

alright i think i'll up this for votes and i swear i read that verse somewhere before did you just repost something you already wrote???

do you want this to go on or not.....I put it up against high class he got banned and i figured id use it for this....blah uppin votage

-1-

its fine i was just curious...........i thought i read it somewhere before was fuckin with my head i checked the SS forum.....its cool though its a nice verse go with it

Damn... this was a good topical battle... very tough decision. I will have to go with TheUnderRated because the angle he used was more to my liking... but Deacon I did feel your verse too. Both did extremely well on the topic, I just leaned slightly toward Under's since it was more relevant to my life, to most of our lives.

vote = TheUnderRated

Keep it up yall, you made this battle worth reading.

pz

werd^
this battle was really nice,
both touched on this topic with nice vocab,
t-u-r had a nice sense of flow as he hit the topic,
nice structure.
also your'e shit touched me more i felt that shit assome of it was everyday shitgood battle tho close but vote-t-u-r

plz hit this now got reopned thx alot http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110695 .....................pz

Gotta say Underrated as well...

Although that "Listen to" hook began to drill into my head like a bad hangover!!!

He still came more complex and provided better imagery.

Used the more complex vocab and topic...

And presented it with some decent flow.

Nothing dramatic, nothing Legendary, but enough to win.

Deacon threw entirely different than I've ever seen before.

The result was a very emotional and heartfelt piece.

I can tell ya cared alot for her, or at least ya character does.

The imagery lacked, though...

I know nothing about this chick other than her bad habits and loose pussy.

What's she look like? What color hair is reflecting in the coke mirror?

What's your relationship to her, ya care, I got that, but why?

She a sister, a friend, someone you used to fuck?

Great story, good emotion, but lacked details and left me wondering...

Why should I care?

Underrated wins for me...

Peace

LOL about the Listen to Hook.....thanx for the feedback guys i'm gonna upp this again tell your friends......

Nice Topical Here......Deacon Came Pretty Dope In Some Parts....But Your Opening Kinda Slacked Off...But You Did Much Better Throughout Your Verse, You Had Good Points Of Views And Good Concepts.......And Under Stuck With The Topic, Nice Imagery And Concepts....And Had Emotion Pretty Much All Throughout His Verse....Which Is What Gives This To Him In My Opinion...For Having A Better Thought Out Topic.....You Should Join SS Under....

Vote - Under

yeah....nice work rated.....i enjoyed your piece...you deserve the win...my piece was just blah...originally meant for high class....good work...

-1-

good battle here.......nice to see deacon be humble about a loss..

underated just had a nicer rhyme scheme and imagery...
and imgery to topicals = punches to battles

underated