Lucinda Lee
this wasn't meant to be anything spectacular...just a short poem i wrote last night while i was sittin doin nothin'. gimme some feedback...an while u at it...read my other one...old mans memory of a silent midnight suicide.
here it is: Lucinda Lee Lucinda Lee was a beautiful lady who lived in her midnight mansion by the sea. No woman in all the world could touch the beauty of Lucinda Lee. There was just one thing keepin her from me. She was married you see. It wasn't fair that he married Lucinda Lee and I was alone; cold and lonely. To get rid of him there was one way only. While all slept, quietly into their room I crept. With one hand I drained of his life till there was none left. As his body splashed into the waves, I'm happy because finally Lucinda Lee will spend all of her days with me. For weeks they searched for his body till one day it drifted to land from he shallows of the sea. So I was hung from the gallows because I loved Lucinda Lee. |
Very Interesting, Good Imagery, Simple Rhyme Scheme, Kept me interested tho, the flow was pretty nice, the vocab was simple, Structure was good. Nice drop, look forward to seeing more from you,
keep droppin peace |
thnx...
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it was like a short story, a very short story. for how long it was i felt there was the basic detail and good content. it was interesting but i think its a piece that could be built on, expanded in a way perhaps. but it was a nice read.
~Tera~ DONT HATE |
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right bout there i'm considerin maybe addin somethin bout the guy insuring that she WILL marry him if he is to get rid of her husband. |
hahaha..damn that was funi..that was nice...easy feel to it the flow of the story kept me interested...it was reelie goode...but he reelie should have buried the body...it might not have been found...-shi-
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thanks...nemore?
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...why is it my poems always get slept on...
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this is a nice one n it duz seem lyk a reel short story, i liked it to it was interestin 2 read thru a cupl times cuz the imagry alters itself ina way............return tha favor
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thnx....finally people are peepin my shit
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