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-   -   Thinking... (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=111679)

Accelerate 02-02-04 06:22 PM

Thinking...
 
They say sticks and stones break your bones, but words may never hurt
If thats the case, Then whats the face, when words seem to do worse?
You say Your not fazed but thats the case when Your trying Stand Up
And Be something tough, When You Realize Your Door of Oppurtunity...
Has Shut
Lets get an identity, no two identical fingerprints, so Try to be Yourself
Because You can only pretend for so long, to being Someone Else...

I sit and ponder, Thoughts come from force,not Physical, Just stronger
You want to see the real Measure of a Man?
Women just take two Men to Measure, and Find out which one's Longer...
So yeah, You wonder whats the Truth, When Answers Lie inside Life's Fruit
But Can You really find the Truth, if The Answers can Lie, and Words Dilute
Can You feel the Presence, of the Present's Presents which it has to Offer
Or are My Random thoughts Coming from Some Strange force..
Not even worth a Ponder?

I leave it to you, to judge as You might, Let Your Spirit Guide Your Mind
Because You can Search Your Hardest...and If not in Your Sight..
It is something else you'll find
You search the Purpose of Your Life, Or Life in General, Or what is Your Call
But if You don't Have Your own Identity, You find someone else's purpose...
And Yours isn't found at all...

=)

Accelerate 02-02-04 06:49 PM

Um yeah..Feedback?

Accelerate 02-02-04 08:38 PM

Uppers Suppers

=WD-40= 02-02-04 08:46 PM

They say sticks and stones break your bones, but words may never hurt
If thats the case, Then whats the face, when words seem to do worse?
You say Your not fazed but thats the case when Your trying Stand Up
And Be something tough, When You Realize Your Door of Oppurtunity...
Has Shut
Lets get an identity, no two identical fingerprints, so Try to be Yourself
Because You can only pretend for so long, to being Someone Else...

^^.. Good Shit, way to start it off, thought the middle of your paragraph or wateva..lol, was basically all filler. thought the flow went down, and became choppy towards the end, the beggining part is what only stood out for me.... good shit, keep at it.. hit me back.

Dev 02-02-04 08:58 PM

thought you opened it really strongly... first bar was ill... the topic and meaning in it shone thru nicely, in at the right places... also it was pretty well balanced, with a consistant'ish flow, except for maybe one/two spots... and you also ended it well... leave poeple thinking..... yeah i liked this....... hit mine

Penskills 02-02-04 09:47 PM

Dope...and yes opening was very simple and storng..it flowed very well through out the whole piece..nice to see you drop OM's now..peace...^^

Topic 02-02-04 10:03 PM

good peice, nice opener like they all said, good vocab and good concept, i like more of your topical peices tho, otherwise good peice.
hit my OM up if you could
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111741


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