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-   -   CV: Why arent you listning? (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=111741)

Topic 02-02-04 09:55 PM

CV: Why arent you listning?
 
Man- Sienne
Nurse- Blue

Why arent you listning?

I pray to god every night, i guess it makes me sleep all right
untill the break of the light, crack of the door, angel in sight
confused all night, voices in my head, messeges un-read
predictions and sights of the sun being dead, all in my bed
human race is lifeless, my last guess, is this all lifes test?
im on a side quest, talking to god just makes life a mess

Dear God,
I guess now were on a first name basis
I know you like the shoe under my laces
I understand what youve been tellin me
Im full of glee, now that i can actully see
remember Lee, hes gone left the other day
not legally either, please watch him...OK?


"we got us a sleeper again, that means hes talkin in his sleep
hes been known to toss and turn and also while hes asleep weep
yeah thats a 1st, he wont talk to me, only talks to himself
he doesnt know here hes from, last state he was in was mental heatlh
and believe me, hes in here for a reason, he says hes here for a reason
he states god actully talks to him, but to me i think hes out of season"


Dear God,
its been a while since you talked back, im scared
if you aint speakin, who to speak when my voice is shared
you did care, but im still here ill jus stay strong
by staying still and hoping that i jus dont live long
I hear what they say about me, god am i actully crazy
or is that just the medicine there givin me makin me hazy
i really dont remember a thing, and didnt i come in here
...........with my wedding ring
they took that, i used to sing, but pretending im asleep
for a decent meal is frustrating


"i hurd his sleep, he thinks im an angel thats sweet
im the angle he thinks he see, the one he meets
I think he needs to know, the true story behind his friend
i beleive it was Lee,got outa hand, so he lives his life again"


I pray to god every night, i guess it makes me sleep all right
untill the break of the light, crack of the door, angel in sight
confused all night, voices in my head, messeges un-read
predictions and sights of the sun being dead, all in my bed
human race is lifeless, my last guess, is this all lifes test?
im on a side quest, talking to god just makes life a mess

"Called in for the last time, the god talker, finally gone
died unexpectingly in his sleep, go figure, tho kinda wrong
he might have seemed at his worst points while he was asleep
I knew that was the only time when his sole was at rest, happy
well another day, another death i live just like the rest of them
but working in the looney bin, doesnt make it worth it loosing him"

Penskills 02-02-04 10:05 PM

Dope...this was one of the best I've read from you..I like the original concept..although your wordplay seemed a little basic at times,but it worked out pretty well..this was a dope piece..keep up the good work...peace..peep out my new piece...Dream or reality...

MC_Merc 02-02-04 10:12 PM

nice
 
nice, you've got imagination. I noticed people write more poetic styles in this site.

Word Definate 02-02-04 10:19 PM

no doubt it was dope...sometimes you lost my attention with the smaller worded vocabulary...but great concept...flow was nice...keep it up

Topic 02-03-04 06:35 AM

yo ima hit you up penskills today after school, thanx for the feedback

-Smoke- 02-03-04 08:55 AM

damn this was an ill peice...
dope concept...even better imagery...
1 of the better peices ive seen lately as far as concept and imagery go...
dope drop keep spittin...

return the favor...check the battle in my sig...

Topic 02-03-04 02:58 PM

i hate battles, ide hit up an OM but no battles..sorry

Topic 02-03-04 03:54 PM

uppin for feedback

Menik 02-03-04 06:13 PM

Yeah this was nice man....everything seemed pretty good in it....it made a good read...you had nice imagination, i liked that....good flow, it stayed on point through out the entire thing i thought....Vocab was alright in this....i liked the way you did this....too bad i didnt join in on this one lol...keep at it man.

Topic 02-03-04 06:44 PM

thanx man

Topic 02-03-04 07:24 PM

uppin

Topic 02-04-04 07:05 AM

goddamn why is this getting slept on, please leave feedback

Topic 02-04-04 06:11 PM

uppin for last time


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