Darkness Inside
 

There is a Darkness about me

Not just in me, but around me

It surrounds me, with it's metaphysical presence

It's endless, with all of my essence

I give off temptation, using it as a motivation

With intimate sensation, perhaps this Darkness is

A creation from inside me, something I can

Seemingly hide, but can not control

As if it's a part of my soul, it grabs hold

And where ever it leads me, I will always go

What it is that holds me...I do not know

I search deep inside for answers

To surprise me but it only supplies me

With the evil, I need to go about my day, beside me

very good.

It has emotion, but not somthing that stands out in the piece, what does stand out however is, the conflict. Conflict, it seems that you really feel how the poem is written. Have you ever read my poem "Damien"? this poem reminds of my poem alot. The vocab is simple at times and complex at others. imagery wasnt abundant but still got pictures of what you were saying. the message seems to be deep, so in my opinion, the piece would have been better if you made it a couple of bars longer. i think alot of people could relate to the piece. Most people in their lives, at one point or another felt out of place, like they did something evil that wasnt them. I guess for you it just feels like that more of the time, but i can definetely relate because that how i feel all the time. I give my personalities names, Sleepy, is when im good, Damien is when i feel more evil, sinister, and like kicking peoples asses for no reason. good stuff here.

-Sleepy-

this piece had a simple feeling to it, but really the concept in it was complex and dug deep. you put thoughts and feelings into a well order piece, that flows well, with good vocab and a basic structure. the message and content were great, with enough detail, but could always have more.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

simple but intriguing
the meaning behind the words played a bigger role than the emotion
i enjoyed this piece for that
the concept was str8... i dont have much else to say
this was a good read, keep writing

A simple writing, but thats what made it good. Good expression and u had a nice flow to it. Really liked this right here. Lookin forward to ya stuff.

~Holla if ya hear me