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Hunger
hungry, starving, 99 cents burger, can i make another quarter? just to fill my
belly with enough jelly and have the strength to talk to that girl name kelly, and i cant stand listening to nelly. nervous-pervous was a name i was called and now iam outspoken and read jrr tolkien. i want to express ,digest, and have my hair a mess after that bed sex. fill my mind with nothing but work, and not be that typical jerk. |
Decent, Needs work
That was funny LMAO
anyway this is just my honest opinion It's decent... decent multies, decent flow... What needs work structure, vocab, wordplay, etc, and try to stay on the topic, By the end I was like wait....... Might wanna check out this to get a feel for more enlightened lines... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=55 I went easy on em JK Gotta elevate JamesJr. |
No effence but this didnt seem like poetry at all to me. Wacked man Take it someone else. Aint trying to jsut hate but i think u needa work on everything. Peace.
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