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Speek.E.Z. 02-05-04 12:44 AM

SS: Photography
 
Deceptive Clouds Shroud The Sky Leaving Darkness Encompassing..
The Rain Is Rattling Off My Windows Well The Sky Is Thundering..
My Heart Is Racing As The Rainfall Patters Faster And Faster..
No End Near As The Thunder And Lightning Continues As The Sky’s Master..
The Gloominess Is Yet To Pass, So I Watch As The Wind Dances With The Leaves..
It Becomes The Master Of The Trees, As The Rain Washes Away The Evil Deeds..
But When There Seemed Like No Escape From Nature’s Threshold..
The Sky Began To Part And The Sun Came To Emerge And Shine Bold..
Exposing The Terrors Of It’s Recent Furies, Hidden From Its Shadow..
Looked In The Distance And Off In The Corner Of The Sky Exposed A Rainbow..
The Colors Danced In The Sky, This Was Between Me And Nature Our Moment..
So I Took A Piece Of Nature Through My Lens And And With A Click I Began To Hold It..
*click*

DªÖ 02-05-04 01:31 AM

good piece ur flow was definetly a great aspect of ur peice
and ur ending was good,but u kind of lost my interest
in the middle, the beggining could have been better
and the structure kind of fucked, but mabey its just diff
computers cuz some guys font isnt the same/shit like that.
not a lot of fuckers respond to ss peices in open mic
but its all g.
ill check this battle out in ss after.

Freeman 02-05-04 04:39 AM

Ive done a similar piece to this...

Sort of different topics though...

This was a good drop... You had nice creativity... Vocabulary... Flow was on through most... Maybe it fell off a couple of times... Nothin really to critisize on this...

A felt that you portrayed the topic nicely with this piece...

Keep it up...

Check out my Open Mics in return please...

Thanks...

Pz...


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