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~To My Princess~
For An Eternity to Last, It Must First Begin
We met... Verse 1 An increase of pulsations, my fragile heart's beating faster Wishing her hand was in mine, time folds while I past her Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words Surrender my existence if its the cost of hers Obsessed deception, her angel wings spread with breath It was beauty beyond belief that this girl bled in depth Take me away, the destination is hers to choose The absence of her presence is the worst abuse A split second of spent glances is a gift in itself Can't envision spending life with someone else The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me We fell... Verse 2 Either procure flight with this angel, or burst into tears I confided confidence in myself by submergin my fears Slowly embraced paces I reaped my courage for words Somehow everything seemed like a reoccurrence at first Introductions were absolute, I felt I knew her before this summit The very entity of my dreams, I was already equipped to commit Deprivation of previous depression, my heart resisted dismay Till this I was insensible to the fact that bliss existed this way I breeched supreme glory when I conquered her askin me An emergent of miracles, my aspirations converged veracity Insurance was superfluous, my feelings became explicit I had no real reason to subsist until she became listed We lasted... Verse 3 From being blessed with your prospect, to your hand in mine The angel of my every reverie and now my lifelong valentine I’ll invest the best of myself and oppress the rest abhor away Ingest the less of myself to progress love’s crest to your array A glimpse of heaven emerges merely at the mouth of a kiss Nonetheless true to say to you, I can’t live without or exist The ether of my reality, you’ve become the air that I breathe The innate conveyed beauty of you is an endowed certainty An elixir for my desire, the universe surrounds simply us two My captured rapture is succumbed by sheer thoughts of you Sealed with an undying vow, my fragile heart is now potent “I love you unconditionally and this love for you won’t end” |
man it's like when a tree barks. sappy
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^i don't get it. lol. thanx.
uppin.................. ...................... ................... ............ peace |
This was nice i thought.....made a good read :).....i like reading this kind of stuff, probably because i tend to write about love and stuff a lot lol....you had some nice multies in there, very nice.....had some deep lines i thought, some i could relate to, some made me cry lol j/k....nice way to end it i thought....all 3 verses were real nice...keep dropping man.
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^thanx dog. uppin this for feedback.....
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Flow - pretty good, with the longer lines you used it becomes easier to ensure the proper tempo. One thing a few lines didn't seem to actually rhyme. ie:
The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me Introductions were absolute, I felt I knew her before this summit The very entity of my dreams, I was already equipped to commit - I guess this one could work depending on how you say it, but it's a stretch Sealed with an undying vow, my fragile heart is now potent “I love you unconditionally and this love for you won’t end” - Again a possibility but requires some serious accent. Vocab - did what you wanted. Concept - Have to agree with CainSin but I suppose about half of humanity might like it. Overall - 6.5 |
lol. thanx even though ur feedback displeases me. oh well. i guess it all depends on
ones ability to... peace |
cmon peepz. its not that hard to read. uppin for feedback
on this.......................... ........................ ............... pz |
average...I can see why Credz likes it..(that fuckin sissy~LOL),anyway this was just average..nothing I haven't seen before..peace..
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This was one of the better drops that I've read. The vocab was good. Rhymes and flow were good. This pice was definately worth the read.
"Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words Surrender my existence if its the cost of hers"-Strong. These lines were ill as fuck "I’ll invest the best of myself and oppress the rest abhor away Ingest the less of myself to progress love’s crest to your array"-This shit was nice Overall, it was a pretty strong piece. Keep up the good work. Please drop feed here: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112603 |
^thanx peepz.
penskillz- i laugh at you for saying that. i come original. i dont' see anyone who has even close to the same style as me. archival- thanx. i'll hit urs up. peace |
uppin these easy-to-read verses. .....
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up...............
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yo homie wuts up..read ur drop n saw that it was a good read :thumbup: ..like it alot cuz u anothat newbie but u dont rap bout how hard u is or u filled wit biched n money n shit..u write bout the real shit n u wrote bout love which i noe evry1 expiriences a least once in dey lives..so i give u props n i liked the whole drop...the vocab was tight...the imagery it gave was also good...the flow was on point n evrything fell into place..it was pretty easy or basic but it had sumtin in it that mad ur drop different so keep rhymin n hope to see more of ur shit
Peace |
thanx man. much appreciation. uppin.
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