Experiments [undecided title] plz critique
 

this is somethin im workin on for my album, its hook isnt finished yet and I think im gonna add another verse to it.. anyways.. plz drop some feedback on this i would like to perfect this piece so it comes out nice


seemed I was a chemist mixin 2-ci wit ketamine as if possesed by a fiend
after the two convened I started to lean as a force intervened
i screamed then a feelin a bliss overwhelmed me as i no longer resist
I reminisced till the ground started to twist then turn to a mist
i told myself this didnt exist, so I tried to ride out this trip
took a whip it then told myself to sit but I missed and landed on my hip
then I began to slip out of reality and drifted into a new mentality
thought about spirituality and started to admire vitality
in all actuality this feeling was great the 2-ci got rid of the body weight
and the ketamine made it abate, this i could definately tolerate
I could create more and sell it door to door and let the users explore
I would probably be adored but this could start a whole new drug war
and I might be responsible for an overdose and some dude killing his horse
of course there would be remorse especially when I get knocked out by the task force
but I do endorse the source that provides these wonderful drugs
and to show my love I printed these pills with there mugs

Interesting topic mad scientist! jk......i liked this it was pretty damn good........it had a good consistent flo to it an was easy to read......the imagery was pretty good i liked that......and you kept it goin well.......
I could create more and sell it door to door and let the users explore
I would probably be adored but this could start a whole new drug war--nice

Keep doing your thing.......peace...if you got the time id appreciate some feedback on my latest piece.......an keep up the work.....

I Bought Her Flowers Today
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111616

Uppin
 

Uppin for feedback

yeah your flow was smooth and consistant thru the piece... it definately needs another verse if its for an album.. it'll be too short, your scheme was decent alot of goo rhyming, but i thought a few more internals, to flip it around abit... to change the tone now and again... cos it seemed to rhyme the same, if ya know what i mean... but yeah its still good...nice drop

uppin

uppin'

uppin^^^

cmon dont sleep

uppin for feed, stop sleepin plz