Body Emotion
 

Its the way that he made me fall that got me sprung
The way he kissed my lips, I held my breath then filled my lungs
His touch sent thrills throughout my entire spine
I held him close, smelled his scent, and knew he was mine
I can close my eyes and picture it happen like this
Squeezing me tight I could find out what love is
His scent of yesterday in the morning was bliss
It starts with the lips, spread apart to kiss
His soft hands soothing my fiery skin
Sliding on top he's got me pinned
No where to go but all the way to the top
Temperature rising, don't want it to stop
I can feel him near and want him much more
He reaches to me and opens the door
Now he's inside and I've lost myself
It's unlike anything I've ever felt
I want to scream out but can only bite my lip
He holds my breast then bites the tip
Hands on my stomache, breath in my ear
He's lost as well so I've nothing to fear
Our mouths went dry our breathing increased
An explosion occured, then the climbing deceased
All too soon it was quick to end
I didn't know that I had sinned

Flow - seemed choppy toward the top but quickly smoothed out
Vocab' - well used, very descriptive
Concept - nice switch there at the end
Overall - 7

nice. kinda basic but well done. the flow was good as well as the emotion.
the structure can be fixed but the concept was great.
over all. nicely done

hit this up plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

thankx. keep at it

thanx yall... i havent really been in the mood so it was kinda forced...

i like the hook somewhat. Very basic, I agree but I liked the flow, something new a little, keep elevatin..