Nancy
 

She wore golden blond hair over her shoulder
Her eyes lit up like the midnight sun
Her featurs dominant, but heart grew colder
As she searched a place her soul could shun
She kept her secrets locked away in ink
A prison for her nightmares between pages
A place no mortal man could think
To seek her wishes, ambitions, and hatred
All wrapped in silk, her innosents maimed
Her mothers spouse inside her craddle
No chance for her puritys reclaim
Torn from childhood, drifted into fable
Like a scent of legend, lifted the kitchen
Like the things she witnessed took no place
Her mother, stuborn, recalled no vision
Of a daughters abuse, a mans wrongful taste
What was she to do to intervene
As the air grew thicker with malice and waste
She took in hand matches and gasoline
And set the house, the past, to blaze

man that was a different ending, i liked it, it ended the whole thing off very nicely. the structure of this was basic, the flow was alright, vocab was pretty good, the conten and detail were well written but room for lots more really, it told your story and put a picture in ppl's minds. emotions were there also. you kept it interesting by not dragging the topic out, but i felt it could have used a stronger opener.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

nice ending, you truly did wrap this up nicely
the flow was straight, and so was the structure
it was simple but the emotion was there as well
i like the concept that you have here, i do think that
the begining could've been stronger though
it seemed sort of as if thought were just being thrown out there, and then towards the end they all fell together, somtimes that works but it kind of took away from this piece
but i enjoyed it none the less
nice drop