enthraled pt 1
 

As Cain moves in and out of any rhyme
Smooth flowin thought the passing of time
Voicecals take there place in the harmory
demostating true elements of an emcee,
prue form, mimcke of the d.i.t.c
Wise not by years but by life
provein with the scars still evendent from the knife
intellectual above my any of my peers
my voice is equal to the beats of premier's
nasty, grimey and raw, but still leavin your ears in awe
nah leavin you questionin why u want to hear your own
I can't wait till I see a clone
try to knock me off my thrown.
I am, not a King, Emperor or a Ruler
much cooler, I am the alpha the omega
Ps2 to your gensis by sega,
I am what god intend humans to be,
the silhouette of poor and weathy
never am i hard to find
most are to blind, poluted the mind
You see me when u walk down the street
in the eyes of the ones by your feet,
yeaning to be placed 6 feet deep.
you see me in your dreams as you sleep
I am the one explainin it all
This verse just left you enthraled


The Mighty, Mighty Mr. Sin
:noob:

flow was... shoudl word on that.
but it was still workable in ur peice
hated how u used the topic tho.
i mean i dont like that ...its just
so lazy to me. your rhyme scheme
was alright and the wordchoice
could have been better. vocab
a little work on but overall the
peice was good, structure needs work
because a reader is reading not listnening
he sees things like
demostating true elements of an emcee,
prue form, mimcke of the d.i.t.c
different.
reader reads it as thats bad structure and
struggles with how it should sound...so
just put some dotts or something or drop the line
but thats a peice of info to ponder on
when ur reviewing/editing ur piece.