trapt souls
 

person biggest threat is the fear of non existance
like our soul has been traped by a barb-wire fence
open up our minds and lets explore - give it a chance
open the door and let our inna self move to its own dance
So traped are we by others outlook of life- we forget
its our life - so lets compose our own perceptions
like our opinion on people that we have just met..
or the world happening through our owns eyes not the news
when CNN says " Iraqi Propaganda " they are only droping clues
all the do's and donts of the world- but what makes us the sheep
its like we are babys who havent learned to walk on 2 feet
and the escuse is freedome of speach- but it doesnt have an effect
when the goverment really controls all of the dialact...
even in the modern age.. we are controled by a higher mean
if all man is created equal... it is yet to be seen.....

uppin

dope piece. i felt it. i understood it. and i liked it. lol. the flow was nice. everything
seemed nice. the structure even. i enjoyed the way you expressed it as well
as what you were expressing. excellent topic and nice way to put it. short and
simple but all the more better.
keep at it.

hit this up plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113109

pz

Strong closer - flow needs a little work in my opinion. Like even though existance and fence technically rhyme - it doesn't really come across. I think you would need to pair another word with fence to make it work ie:

person biggest threat is the fear of non existance
our souls trapped in barbed wire like some hicks fence

best I could come up with quickly while keeping the line intact. Nice subject matter - thought your last four lines were nice. Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you get a chance.

uppin..

upin.....

thought this was quite deep for a short drop.... really strong closer,, thats the best way to finish up i think... on a strong note... your transition seemed a bit choppy tho. and the first bars rhyming seems a bit forced, but other than that, a decent drop.... nice topic...... hit my latest, insomniac