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TJwillingham vs. Bruise Banter
All setup.....checkin' in .... verse due an hour after you check in.....
10-12 lines 3-0 is a KO no recycling no biting etc. |
Check!
Quote:
aiaght............................................ ..... |
I'm ready when you are........................................
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Well your hour is almost up so I'm gonna post
I’m a lyrical touchdown rusher U R N B flow-N like usher My style will crush ya, like a fat chick jump’n on a skinny niggas dick I’ll beat you into smithereens with my Elongated stick bitch! I’m fully equipped to rip tracks; backs get blown when I get into my zone So now I gotta show how easily I bruise banter, using my teeth to rip through his bones Straight through the white meat, nigga in my hand I have your heartbeat I lost one battle, but right now ain’t no nigga fuck’n wit me please! After this U gonna leave with the B G’s, cause a M C, U R not I don’t understand why hydrocephaly’s wit they swollen heads think they got the brain capacity, when all Banter’s gonna feel is tragedy Fuck a punch-line cause your soul just flat-lined after my rhyme....Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! |
Ok it's been an hour dog it's only 10-12 lines you said you were going first?
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ahhemm.....
You called and I answered back... for a quick merking... overconfident, but yer' rhymes incompetent...that shit's not working Searching...for your second lose, hopeing to take a pounding... Trying desperately to stay afloat...while your styles just drowning... I have to admit though... you play that skin flute well... but yer' brainwaves couldn't fill a thimble...with a 100 foot swell Total Jerkoff, yer 'willing' to get beat... so just revel... Your attemtptin ascention... but only manage to peak at "C" level. You flow like an inflamed sinus... I could fess solemly... You should already have a PM ready...addressed "apology"... Blah...... |
Well after the fact damn...needed to see what I was gonna come with huh?
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in the third line 'lose' is supposed to be 'loss'.....typo.......blah..........uppin...
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blahblahblah................uppin............vote. ......... or drop feed back......................................much appreciated
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back to the top....lets get votes.....dont sleep.... want to get this over with quick like....
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vote on my battle in my sig but
bruise took this by like 8 mile ok it had multies followed by rhyme the last line it flowed really good vocabulary madd punches i was like woah very good battle on your aprt as for the otha guy what ever ur name is the one that bites rhymes um dont spell out urban that woulda got at least a lil flow rite away. elongated stick bitch was wack it didnt rhyme w/ ne thin didnt flow hardly at all and ur battle is I I I dont talk about ur self so basically no punches MY vote bruise |
Uppin...........................................ju st vote...........wanna finish this quickly........................................wil l return honest feedback...................
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bruise banter took this battle with ease........TJ, you had no real structure and your punches were played....need to work on personals and shit, make sure to hit your opponent harder....bruise, you had some nice personals and some pretty creative punches...you started your verse off nice and the closer was nice as well...in the middle you had a played punch, the C level one, but i liked the thimble/100 foot swell punch, that was creative....all in all my vote goes to bruise for the better wordplay and more creative verse.
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MY VERDICT
Flow:Bruise Structure:Bruise Punches:Bruise Multies:None Creativty:Bruise MY COMMENT TJ: You need to focus more on creative rymes and punches dissin isnt a good way to win also try to keep your record to yourself dont tell people uve lost expecially in a battle it just gives your opponent sumtin to attack. Bruise: Good flow and rymes but punches could of been more powerful.Also try workin in a few multies e.g put u in lyrical shock - now u feel a hysterical block . Lyrical and hysterical ryme and shock and block ryme. I hope my constructive critism will help both of u to improve and keep rappin! Peace and please drop sum feedback and vote in 1 of my battles! BlackGrenade VS ShortY |
up................................................ ....vote please..................
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