An Awakening
 

Born foresaken, Im a vacant cloud searching for harp musicians
Heavenly scribes arrive to nurture my hearts suspicions
Sought 'solace' in the 'shadows', it worked cos' the 'dark' would 'listen'
Persued the 'light' on the sabbath, went to church but the 'spark' was missin
I tried rubbin Buddha bellies, and four leaf clovers
'Knocked' two years off, trina preach Jehovah
Jesus said that he would emulate the feats of Jonah
But resurrection means; deceased who rose up!
See Jonah was asleep when he was inside the whale
I guess the Gospel writers thought that Jonah died in the tale :shocked:
Contradictions equal fiction, and fiction breeds confusion
What are my thoughts on crucifixion? Fantasies, illusions
Claimin' he was God's the same as worshippin' 'cows'
Even these Hindu dudes feel me, Indians 'jerkin' they brows :laugh:
The proud scribes said "Be thankful for the skill that He gave you!"
Then handed me a quill from the wings of an angel
Now I'm hurling metaphorical rocks, at David's Star
Screaming at you heathens "Praise Allah!!"

No I dont hate christians....before I get hate replies. Just a concept I thought of....I do hate jews tough lol

nice start for a neebie, this was good ya had good flow and structure was ok, and the topic was also ok, keep it up.

thanx

Flow was alright - could probably use a little work to even it out some. Vocab' level was good - looked like you put some thought behind the piece. Liked the way you used logical argument progression within. Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you can.

i enjoyed this..
concise and you got your cynical views on god etc over well..
some really nice imagery as well and a bit of humour

'Contradictions equal fiction, and fiction breeds confusion
What are my thoughts on crucifixion? Fantasies, illusions

^dope..
no complaints man
im of a similar view pint on religious issues to so it made alot of sense and fell into my thought process

'The proud scribes said "Be thankful for the skill that He gave you!"
Then handed me a quill from the wings of an angel
^heh..very well thought out
with a splash of sarcasm

u might be interested in my devils rant piece which follows a similar vein of thought


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112408

props

Uppin

Upping again, last one

c'mon people uppin for feedback

interesting topic. its good to know other people's perspectives on
religion for sum odd reason. i can't really relate to yours, but it
was still interesting. the verse itself was nice. the structure and flow
were good, as well as the complexity. the consistency was good.
it seemed basic but to the point. once again, the topic was interesting
even though we don't see eye-to-eye. keep rhyming.

hit mines up if you can.

pz