New Guy
 

I'm only 19 but I ain't getting younger
I got too much hunger now yall going under
under the ground maybe everyone says I'm crazy
Momma said I'm lazy
ex-ladies try to blaze me
But I'm colder than freezing
Death is always teasing
I'm glad I'm still breathing
Survived stabbings, and beatings
Believe it
I don't think it I speak it
I don't flash it I squeeze it
Your approval who needs it
can't flow too long
I'll get sea-sick
believe it
I'm allergic to girls who can't stop calling
You'll never catch me ballin
you'll catch me robbing
Without batman
pitching packs man
Pull through your hood in a black van
seats reclined and headlights off
Roll down the window
Then your head flies off
Believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thefinger

WOW,I'm new to,but you being nineteen and all.This was not good :nono:

well well well yall gonna diss me obviously because I am not like you or like the dicks you usually ride, but try to understand my perception and stop being closed minded or we will all sound the same. Stop having a criteria for talent and open your mind. Thanks for the replies anyway

Ignore Freeman - that's his standard greeting to posters who aren't telling stories. Some nice lines there and a good understanding of how to rhyme. Keep the hunger - you should have continued your form that you started with instead of closing with the gangsta stuff. Top 2/3 is alright - bottom third just doesn't go with what you started. Keep writing. Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you can.

this was completely whack...
nothing good about this wow your words rhyme...
anywon can rhyme... lmao, you need a topic...
or battle someone, show us that you have talent,
to flow about anything not just packin gats and rollin dubs...
which these people w ho talk about it dont do...

"this was completely whack...
nothing good about this wow your words rhyme...
anywon can rhyme... lmao, you need a topic..."

I meant his scheme - it was quite compact - and it takes at least some skill to keep rhyming when your lines are short like that.

"can't flow too long
I'll get sea-sick"

Thought that and a few other lines were alright. Anyway he's just starting so he needs advice.